The Promises of Jesus

WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE

Matthew 17:20 If you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

Matthew 18:19 If two of you on earth agrees about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

Matthew 19:26 With God all things are possible.

Matthew 21:21-22 If you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree but also you can say to this mountain, “Go throw yourself into the sea”, and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

Mark 10:27 With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.

Mark 11:23-24 If anyone says to this mountain, ‘”Go, throw yourself into the sea’”, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen; it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.

Luke 17:6 If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, “Be uprooted and planted in the sea,” and it will obey. 

Luke 18:27 What is impossible with men is possible with God.

John 14:12 Anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the Father.

With God all things are possible? Anyone who has faith in Jesus will do what he has done? We will do even greater things than these because Jesus is with the Father? Can we believe this? Do we see evidence of this? Here are three of these verses and the study notes of William Barclay and John MacArthur

Luke 17:6 If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, “Be uprooted and planted in the sea,” and it will obey. 

Barclay says that an event “which looks completely impossible becomes possible if approached with faith…if we approach a thing saying, ‘it can’t be done,’ then it will not; if we approach it saying, ‘It must be done’ the chances are that it will. We must always remember that we approach no task alone, but that with us there is God and all his power.”

Matthew 17:20 If you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.

MacArthur says about this verse “True faith by Christ’s description, always involves surrender to the will of God. What he was teaching here is nothing like positive thinking psychology. He was saying that both the source and the object of all genuine faith – even the weak mustard seed variety – is God. And nothing will be impossible with God.

John 14:12 Anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these because I am going to the Father.

MacArthur says about this verse: “Jesus did not mean greater works in power, but in extent. They would become witnesses to all the world through the power of the indwelling and infilling of the Holy Spirit and would bring many to salvation because of the Comforter dwelling in them.”

God has done miraculous things in my heart, mind and soul – though these may not appear miraculous to others. He moved mountains of unbelief and wooed me to himself, showing me his love, power and forgiveness. He has called me to do things that seemed impossible – and with his power I did them. There are many miracles in the life of true believers though these may not be obvious to the world.

Dear Father,

We thank you for your promise that when we put our faith in you amazing things can happen. We are transformed by your Holy Spirit as we abide in you. Together with you we are able to do your will – no matter what. Your power is made perfect in our weakness. Your power is beyond all we can imagine – it’s unlimited. Help us grow our faith and continue to abide in you – watching miracles happen. We pray this in the glorious name of Jesus, Amen.

Preparing for Death

Q.  The unrest in our world today with terrorism, riots, massive immigrants flooding into Europe, as well as droughts, forest fires and earth quakes, make me worry about the future. I’m in my forties with a family and a career. My life is busy and full. The instant uprooting of people from their home and country, the many deaths by terrorism and the divisiveness of our own country are disconcerting. I know death is inevitable for everyone but now I realize not everyone makes it to old age.

I worry what would happen to my children if I died tomorrow. I wonder how I would handle the sudden death of my wife or a child. How can I get over these worries? What can I do to regain peace of mind?

A. Most of us avoid thinking about death. We know we’re going to die but we don’t really believe it. In fact, our culture encourages a denial of death, at least until we’re sick or elderly. We’re focused on the daily necessities such as such as earning a living, paying our mortgage, caring for our children. We’re overwhelmed with a multitude of details of life - car and home repair, cooking, laundry, chauffeuring kids, business trips and PTA meetings. The list is endless. We seldom take the time to think about life and death issues.

The many issues in the world news serve to wake us up. These events remind us that the length of our life on earth is not guaranteed. Our life is a gift that we need to cherish and use wisely. The reality of death helps us recognize the value of life. Faith in eternal life helps dispel worries about dying. I’ll say more on that later.  

First there are some tasks that will help you prepare for death. It’s essential for everyone to have a will - even if you have little or no money. If you have young children specify in your will who you would like to be their care takers if both parents should die. For example, you may have two sisters but one is closer to the children and willing to do this. It’s best to have your will done by a lawyer. 

         

You may want to write letters to your children to be given to them at significant times in their life - graduation from high school or their wedding for example. Though you will probably be present at the time, write these letters now for added peace of mind. 

         

Make peace with your loved ones. If you have failed to forgive someone - do so now. If you have hurt someone and not asked for their forgiveness - do so now. If you have failed to tell loved ones that you love them - do so now. These may not be easy steps but they will make your life more meaningful and you will be at peace about your death whenever it comes. Forgive yourself, also. No one leads a perfect life.

         

We need to plan for our own death. If you knew you only had a week, a month or a year to live what would you need or want to do in the time you have left? Talk these issues over with your wife. 

         

Cherish each day. Make relationships and giving to others a priority. Help others in need. Slow down so you can appreciate the beauty of our world and the joy in loving moments. 

         

Turn to God. Faith in God is the best antidote to fear of death. Pray, read scripture, find a church that lifts your spirits and loves you and that also answers your questions about life and death. Seek God and He will give you peace. 

The greatest peace will come to you when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Then you will be certain of eternal life. You will live forever with Him.

“God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but will have eternal life.” John 3:16 NLT

Blessings, Dottie

See also Books on Life, Aging, Death, Grieving #4

MARRIAGE COUNSELING CAN BE HAZARDOUS

Q. My wife and I saw two different marriage counselors and neither one helped our marriage. One counselor wondered why my wife stayed with me since she was so unhappy. Another counselor saw us separately and told me maybe we should separate. 

We don’t want to separate or divorce. We want to learn how to solve our marital conflicts. Marriage counseling almost tore us apart. Does marriage counseling ever help? What will help us?

A. I was a marriage counselor for over thirty years and I’ve heard many similar stories. Unfortunately not all marriage counselors are trained to help couples change their interactions with each other. Also, not all marriage counselors view marriage as a life long commitment made before God, family and friends.  

         

Some therapists, as well as our society, think that marriage should “make us happy.” They don't understand that all marriages have some low points and all marriages take work. Most couples can identify some positives in their relationship and don’t want to break up their marriage. They just don’t know how to fix it. 

         

William J. Doherty, Ph.D., gave a presentation called “How Therapy Can Be Hazardous To Your Marital Health.” He is appalled, as I am, at what some counselors tell couples. He describes one couple who saw a therapist together. The wife was clinically depressed and medication was begun. In a later individual session with the wife the therapist told her she wouldn’t recover from her depression until she “trusted her feelings” and separated from her husband. The wife protested saying she loved her husband and was committed to him. The wife was stunned and didn’t return to the counselor.

         

Next she talked to her priest. He urged her to wait and see whether the depression was causing the marital problems or the martial problems were causing her depression. If things improved with the medication then all was well. Then he told her if it didn’t work out he would help her get an annulment! Again, she was stunned.

They finally saw a competent marital therapist who helped the couple. Dr. Doherty says that this couple “survived two efforts at....therapist-induced marital suicide.” Other examples are:

•  “Your marriage isn’t working any more.” This is like saying my car isn’t working anymore and it’s not worth repairing.
•  “Maybe it’s time to move on.” That’s what we say about a job. 
• “You deserve better.” Friends, not just therapists will say this about a marriage. This infers that you have nothing to do with the problems. 
• One therapist refers to “starter marriage.” Starter marriage? We refer to a starter home? It’s a little home you plan to leave!                  

Dr. Doherty suggests that “this kind of language represents the invasion of a consumer ethic into marriage in addition to focus on individual fulfillment and satisfaction.” He encourages couples to take marital education classes and I would agree with him. I have seen more change happening in couples marriages through marriage education than through counseling though some couples need both. 

I recommend you and your wife join The Third Option, Marriage Encounter or Weekend to Remember. For information on other marriage building programs see www.smartmarriages.com. 

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” Proverbs 3:3 NIV

Blessings, Dottie

         

Getting Along with People

Q. I lead a normal life and I’m generally happy, but other people bother me. I have a hard time with friends and family members who are critical and controlling. I get upset by this and often give in. They never seem to understand my point of view. How can I handle this so I don’t get upset? Should I just give in to everyone? What do you suggest?

                                                                                  

A. People are complex. We need to learn to get along with all kinds of people without compromising our own individuality. Some people are angry, some are pushy or controlling, some are critical. Some are bossy. Some are negative or pessimistic. Some are laid back or passive. Any of these traits can rub us the wrong way. Some of these traits will anger, hurt or disappoint us.

         

People meddle with our plans and try to control our behavior. Giving is different than giving in. We some times bend to the other person, selling ourselves short. We some times avoid or ignore the other person, but some people can be persistent. We try a variety of ways to explain ourselves to others but nothing works. Here are some suggestions for getting along with others.

         

1. Don’t let others control you or make your decisions for you. You will never have everyone’s approval for the things you do. Stop taking their words or actions personally. If they pressure you and try to run your life they probably do this with everyone. It’s their life style. Some times we get angry at the person we view as controlling us, but we allow it. Learn to set your own boundaries.

         

2. Don’t look at others as all bad or wrong. They are human beings with many good as well as not so good qualities. When we view others as bad or wrong we become judgmental and angry. Give grace to all.

         

3. Don’t expect to understand others. We are each different. We are each unique. We each have personality quirks. Some of these differences are inborn. For example, you may be laid back while another person is very goal directed. Assume the best about everyone and enjoy the differences.

         

4. Don’t try to be like everyone else. Accept your own strengths and weaknesses and accept who you are. Work on your weaknesses in your own way and as God leads you, not as others expect or demand. Don’t change yourself to suit someone else.

         

5. Don’t expect others to understand you. Most of us have trouble just understanding ourselves, much less understanding someone else. While it’s comforting to have someone else sympathize with a struggle or difficulty we’re in, don’t expect this. All of us experience the pain of being misunderstood. Learn to let go of this.

         

6. Meet your own needs and let others meet theirs. Don’t try to change others. Stay out of other’s business unless they ask for help. Then, be careful not to rescue someone from a difficulty they can handle on their own.

         

7. Believe the best about everyone. We don’t know or understand what has made them the way they are. Focus on their positive qualities. There are always reasons for the way they are. One of the major mistakes we make with people is adjusting to them rather than learning to be true to ourselves and to God’s unique purpose and plan for us.

“If you let people treat you like a doormat you’ll be quite forgotten in the end.” Proverbs 29:21 The Message

Blessings, Dottie

GETTING RID OF CLUTTER

A. My home is cluttered with many things. For years I’ve clipped articles with interesting ideas. I’ve also clipped recipes and saved magazines. And my closets are bulging with clothes. I have trouble letting go of things because I think I may find a use for them later. I want to simplify my life. I make stabs at this but never seem to get very far. Can you give me a plan for simplifying my life?

A. Many of us realize that we need to simplify our lives yet we never seem to get around to it. One reason for this is that it takes time to simplify. It takes time to get rid of clutter. We’re busy people with many interests and little spare time. To accomplish our goal we must make decluttering a priority.

We also get bogged down by the enormity of the task. We tackle one closet but never even finish this as other priorities interrupt our decluttering attempt. We need to develop a plan and a system and make it work. 

         

H. Norman Wright, in his book Simplify Your Life, describes the 80/20 principle which says that 80 percent of the value of things is usually concentrated in only 20 percent of the items. “If 80 percent of the space is taken up by stuff that’s used only 20 percent of the time, is it necessary?” This principle can help you declutter.

         

Begin by doing a survey of each room in your home. What objects or possessions in this room complicate your life or are never used? Everything we own takes some of our time to clean, sort, or store. When many objects, (books, clippings, files, clothing, or furniture) are jammed into a small space we waste time trying to find the items we need. 

         

After you have done the survey begin decluttering by working on one room at a time. Start with the room that is most used and most cluttered or disorganized. Decluttering just this room will make life much easier for you. The other rooms can wait.

         

Plan to work for at least a half hour a day decluttering this room. If you have time to watch TV or to play computer games you have time for this. Think about what will help you find the items you need in this room. Simply rearranging things for more convenience can make a difference. 

Start small getting rid of things. Try to eliminate 10% of the things accumulated. If you find this difficult - and most of us do - realize you are clinging to your past. You will enjoy the present more without all these “things.” If you still can’t let go of 10% of the items put them away for a while and see if you miss them. 

Think of the people who could use the items you're hanging on to. Our material goods drown us when they could be helping someone else. Let go of your stuff and enjoy giving it away to those in need.

You should hang onto items of personal interest such as scrapbooks or photo albums and things you want to pass on to your children. What items need to go? 

          • Catalogs and magazines more than a month old

          • Legal documents and receipts that are over fifteen years old

          • books you’ll never read again, cookbooks, record albums, cassette tapes and videos that you don’t use, furniture and kitchen items you don’t use

          •Old textbooks and encyclopedias

          •Clothes that don’t fit; clothes you haven’t worn in a year

          •Papers sitting on top of furniture in plain sight should be filed or thrown out.

          
Wright’s book will give you many more ideas to help you simplify your life. 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth or rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Matt. 6:19-21 NASB

Blessings, Dottie

JESUS IS COMING SOON!

The Red Words in Scripture - Promises of Jesus

Matthew 19:28 At the renewal of all things when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne you who have followed me will also sit on 12 thrones, judging the 12 tribes of Israel.

Matthew 26:64 In the future you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.

Mark13:26-27 At that time men will see the Son of Man coming on clouds with great power and glory. And he will send his angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of the heavens.

Mark 14:62 You will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven.

Luke 17:24 The Son of Man in his day will be like the lightening which flashes and lights up the sky from one end to the other.

Luke 21:27 At that time they will see the son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.

John 6:62 What if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before? The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.

Revelation 3:11 I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have so that no one will take your crown.

Revelation 22:7 Behold, I am coming soon! Blessed is he who keeps the words of prophecy in this book.

Revelation 22:12 Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.

Revelation 22:20 Yes, I am coming soon.

With all these Scriptures in Jesus own words does anyone doubt that Jesus is coming back? Unfortunately there are many who don’t believe. Even scientists with no belief in God say that the earth had a beginning and will have an end. Many believers long for the return of Jesus. And we are told to be prepared, to watch and be ready. Some day Jesus will return. We are instructed when we see the Son of Man coming with power and great glory we are told “look up, lift up your heads, your redemption draws near.” What a day that will be!

Dear Father,

We thank you for the promise in Scripture that Jesus will be coming back soon. Prepare our hearts for this day. Help us win others to a saving knowledge of Him in the meantime. We want to say “Come quickly, Lord Jesus.” We know your timing will be perfect as you are.

In Christ’s name we pray, Amen.

To learn more see Excellent Books on Prophesy here.

FALLING FORWARD IN MARRIAGE

Q. I know my husband loves me and we’re committed to each other but we go through times of intense conflict and times of distance from each other. Then we wonder if the struggle is worth it and whether we really are meant for each other.  What’s going on? How can we change these patterns? 

A.  All couples face obstacles, angry flare ups and apathetic periods in their marriage from time to time. When these problems occur we often pull back and become distant or even have thoughts of giving up. We fall away from our spouse. Gary Thomas in his book Sacred Marriage says the solution to these problems is to do the opposite of what comes naturally - we need to fall forward.  “Falls are inevitable. We can’t control that, but we can control the direction in which we fall - toward or away from our spouse.” 

         

Thomas goes on to say, “It took years for me to understand I have a Christian obligation to continually move toward my wife. I thought that as long as I didn’t attack my wife or say cruel things to her, I was a ‘nice’ husband, but the opposite of biblical love isn’t hate, its apathy. To stop moving toward our spouse is to stop loving him or her. It’s holding back from the very purpose of marriage.”

         

To learn to fall forward toward our spouse we must learn three things: 

1. We must learn not to run from conflict. Our natural tendency is to run away from disagreement. We can do this in other relationships more easily than we can in marriage. We can look for another job, another friend, another church. But our marital vows challenge us, or even force us, to work through the problem, to reach a solution. Thomas says that “conflict provides an avenue for spiritual growth. To resolve conflict, by definition we must become more engaged, not less. Just when we want to ‘tell the other person off’ we are forced to be quiet and listen to their complaint. Just when we are most eager to make ourselves understood, we must strive to understand...”

         

2. We must learn to compromise. This is not a dirty word, as society would lead us to believe. In order for a relationship to continue and grow some compromises must occur. Every relationship involves compromise in some way. When we’re willing to give some ground we prove our love; we prove how important the relationship is to us. We fall forward.

         

3. We must learn acceptance and loyalty. The very differences which attracted us to each other sooner or later cause conflict or hurt.  For example, you were attracted to his kindness before you married. Now you see him as too giving. Or you enjoyed her as fun loving before marriage but now you wish she would be serious. Life would be easier we think if he or she would be just like me. The challenge is to let go of our idealized image of a husband or wife and learn to love the person we married, an imperfect, flawed human being. We fall forward.

         

Learning to face conflict, learning to compromise and learning acceptance teaches us how to love and how to forgive. This is what falling forward is all about. We don’t let pain or apathy keep us from moving toward each other.

         

To learn more about how to put these lessons into practice join a couples educational group, The Third Option, Marriage Encounter or Weekend to Remember. I also recommend you read Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.

“Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.” Romans 12:10 NLT

Blessings, Dottie