Tuesday, November 21, 2017


This is the seventh of a series of blog posts with my sister Betty Haynie about what we believe. Our thoughts may be helpful to those who don’t believe in God. Betty wrote down her beliefs in detail several years ago. I’ll post her thoughts monthly and add my thoughts and beliefs to each one. Our thoughts are intentionally brief on subjects that could fill volumes


By Betty Haynie

I believe that if God truly wants a relationship with us He must have provided a way to communicate since we cannot physically see Him. HE DID! It’s called “prayer.” I believe this is one of the most important ways in which we communicate with God regardless of our level of spiritual development. Just talk to Him as you would to any friend, for that is what He wants to be!!

It goes without saying that reading His word is a good way to learn about Him and find out what He wants for His people in general and for your self in particular. But equally or maybe even more important is prayer. 

The Bible tells us, to “Pray without ceasing.”  1 Thessalonians 5:17 I used to wonder how on earth I could do that. Well, as I have studied the Word and tried to “walk the walk” I realize that having God in my every thought, talking with Him and calling on Him to help me is praying without ceasing.

Prayer is not just asking God for our wish list of things, although there certainly is an element of that in prayer. Praising Him is prayer too!! Thanking Him for all He has already done for you is prayer. Asking Him what He wants you to do is prayer. Prayers don’t have to be said out loud. I “think” many of my prayers.

I talk to Him before I get up in the morning, praising Him for the new day He has given me and asking Him to help me with whatever He wants me to do for Him on any given day. I ask Him to help me do His will and to show me what that will is. I also pray for my loved ones and for those I know who are going through rough times -illness or sadness or whatever.

The difference I see between prayer and meditation is that prayer is a two-way conversation and meditation is just me alone, thinking on things. They might be spiritual things and that’s always a good thing to think on, but there doesn’t seem to be a real connection to God during meditation. I get the impression that the Buddhists, and others who meditate, do not expect an answer.

The “Lord’s Prayer” as people call it, is a format of one way people can pray. It certainly is not the only way. I don’t believe God cares so much what we say to Him as He cares that we talk to Him as much as possible.

Reading prayers that other people have written is another way to pray but has the potential to become more rhetoric than prayer from the heart. It is certainly better than nothing. I believe God wants our talking to Him to be truly from our hearts – and I believe He can tell the difference.

When we are finished talking with God we ask that all of what was just prayed be in Jesus’ name. Did you even wonder why we do that? Well, I believe it is because Jesus has told us that no one can get to the Father except through Him.

 “Jesus said to him, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father but by Me.” John 14:6 (MKJV)

That sounds rather arrogant but when you know the whole story of why Jesus came and what He came to do for us it makes sense. In order to get to, talk to, reach, communicate, or visit God.....you MUST go through Jesus the Christ!!

I believe that if the god you are trying to reach is NOT the God of the Trinity, then you are wasting your time. No other God but God the creator, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost can answer prayer. Mohammad can’t, Buddha can’t, Mary Baker Eddy can’t, neither can St. Paul, St. Patrick, St. Jude, St. Nick or any of the other many Saints!! Not even Jesus’ disciples could answer prayer. Not Mary the Mother of Christ, or a Priest or Minister can answer prayer. God and God alone THROUGH the intercession of Jesus the Christ can and will hear our prayers.

This is not my OPINION - this is what the Bible says and I believe the Bible is the Word of God and God does not lie.

I’ve seen prayer work in the lives of many, many people - including my own - over and over and over!! Praise God!!

Blessings, Betty


By Dottie Parish

Prayer is essential to my life as a Christian. Prayer changes me, softens me, humbles me, and transforms me. It fills me with a sense of God’s presence. Prayer lifts my spirits and connects me with the God of the universe. How awesome is that! Jesus prayed at length and often very early in the morning. He also taught his disciples to pray.

Someone has suggested that the types of prayers can be summed up as “Help” “Thanks” and “Wow.” We can ask for anything in prayer = “Help.” We thank God for our blessings = Thanks! And we praise him for his amazing love and grace = “Wow!  I would add “Melt me, Mold me, Fill me, Use me.” And “Forgive me.”

Silent prayer is also special. My church at one point opened the sanctuary for silent prayer for an hour at noon on Fridays. Anyone could come in off the street to pray. I decided to attend weekly and it deepened my prayer life. I found that after about twenty minutes of silent prayer God revealed things I needed to change or let go of or ask forgiveness for. It took twenty minutes to get through to me! And what a freeing time! We need to take more time to quiet our busy lives and enter the presence of God.

I pray daily and often while still in bed. I attempt to pray without ceasing as Betty mentioned. See my blog about this. My husband and I also pray at each meal and at bed time together. Prayer between husband and wife is true intimacy and will benefit any marriage.

Prayer in our weekly worship service touches my heart and soul and helps me surrender to God and repent of failures or sins. It also provides uplifting times of praise to our God. Weekly prayer meetings in which we intercede as a group for the needs of missionaries, and others has ministered to me in deep ways. Here’s what Jesus says:

“If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done to them by my Father who is in heaven. For when two or three have gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:19-20

What a promise! This doesn’t mean we get what we want. God can answer with “No.” The Lord’s Prayer, as Betty mentioned, offers a format for prayer that is helpful. Throughout the bible there are many beautiful prayers that can teach us how to pray.

Writing this today makes me realize I need to spend more time in prayer. How about you? This Thanksgiving day let’s lift our hearts with thanks to God for all our blessings.

Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Blessings, Dottie

Wednesday, November 15, 2017


Q. My sister and I are total opposites yet we grew up in the same family. How can this be? When we get together it’s like trying to mix oil and water. I like to plan a head while she’s impulsive and spontaneous. I’m organized and she’s messy and disorganized. She says whatever she thinks while I’m cautious and quiet. She seems to have no sense about life - spending money she doesn’t have and never planning for the future.  

I love my sister and wish I understood her. Why are we so different? How can we learn to get along?

A. You and your sister have opposite thinking styles. Researchers in the 1970s discovered that the two sides of the brain have separate and distinct functions. The left side of the brain is where logical thinking, reasoning and organizing occurs. The right side of the brain is where emotions, visual images, and dreams take place. A left brained person is critical, rational, logical, disciplined, a thinker. A right brained person is a dreamer, emotional, free spirited, people oriented. 
In other words, we think in two very different ways. We think in words but we also think in pictures; we think verbally and non-verbally. The more we become aware of the two ways in which we think the more access we will have to both sides of our brain.
Those who are left brained and logical can develop the more neglected side their brain by being aware of the images in their minds. For example, if I ask you to describe your childhood home you will answer me in words but as you do so you will have a visual picture in your mind. We have visual images in our minds more often then most of us realize. Using this imaging ability consciously can help develop the creative side of our brain.
When you have difficulty getting a point across to your sister, use a word picture as this will speak to both sides of her brain at once. Tell her for example, “your financial situation reminds me of a boat with a hole in it. I’m afraid you’ll go down with the boat.”

Doug Hall, author of Jump Start Your Business Brain, says that logical left brained individuals are easier to work with on creative projects than radically right brained people. Left brained people can easily grasp the need to stretch their brains and become more creative. In contrast, right brained individuals can’t see their need to stretch and be more logical and practical. In other words it’s easier to get a left brained person to discover their right brain than it is to get a right brained person to find their logical left brain. 
Each brain style has its own strengths and weaknesses. As a left brained person your practical, cautious nature may keep you in a routine life style, preventing you from growing. You can make a logical decision to learn from your sister how to be more spontaneous, creative and free spirited in the way you approach life. 
It’s doubtful you can change your sister though your understanding of her may help you be less polarized. Show her this article and tell her your concerns about her impractical ways. If she’s interested in stretching her less developed left brain she can learn from you and she can also develop the left side of her brain by reading, keeping a journal and working cross word puzzles. 

The two of you can learn to work as a team with your sister thinking up the creative ideas and you bringing them down to practical reality. All this takes is appreciating and using your differences rather than fighting about them.

God loves variety. He created each person uniquely. We both grow when we understand our differences.

“As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man.”  Proverbs 27:17

Blessings, Dottie

Monday, November 6, 2017


Q. I feel pressured by time. The more pressured I feel the more stressed I become. My friends seem to be able to relax and enjoy life yet still keep their homes in order, feed their families, have a career and even do volunteer work. Why can’t I? How can I learn to not feel so pressured by time?

A. Many of your friends may feel as pressured as you do. Busyness and “hurry sickness” is epidemic in our culture. Studies show that the average American sleeps two and a half hours less and works ten hours more than those of fifty years ago. The many technological advances which we enjoy - computers, TVs, cell phones, DVDs, access to others via e-mail, vast amounts of information on the Internet, and an array of labor saving devices create more complexity in our lives than ever before. 
Even our cell phones take our time and attention. We are intrigued with the games, distracted by messages coming in and hooked on the latest Facebook post. All of these activities cut into family time, sleep time, restful time. Every new technology changes the way we live. 
We long for simplicity yet we enjoy the luxuries we have. As a result we live in constant overdrive. We pride ourselves on being able to “multi-task” - which means we try to do two or three things at once. Our culture has convinced us that “down time” is wasted. Most disturbingly, when we feel such time pressure we may see our family members and friends as obstacles that slow us down rather than as the loves of our life; the people who care for us and will always be there for us. Our hurried world glorifies productivity and even workaholism as the price of achieving our ambitions. As a result our relationships suffer and our health and well being suffer.
So what is the answer? How can you solve your problem of time pressure and hurry sickness? We all need to examine our priorities and decide what’s really important in life. We need to realize we can’t do everything. We need to set boundaries on our time based on our priorities.
We should be able to work hard and yet still have time to play with our children, eat meals as a family, take naps, read a book, get enough sleep. We need to trim our schedules to make time for rest and relaxation. We can turn off our phones during dinner - or even beyond! We can reduce the number of activities in which we and our children are involved. We can learn to say no.
Our attitudes, beliefs and thoughts can contribute to feeling pressured by time. Are your expectations of yourself too ambitious? Pare them down. Don’t rush, breath deeply, relax. Think positively and realistically about what you can accomplish. Let go of perfectionistic expectations. 
Carve out some alone time for prayer. Use routine activities, such as your morning shower, a coffee break or a lunch hour alone as times to pray rather than as times to worry. Take your mind off work and express gratitude for the blessings in your life. Exercise times can also be used for times of solitude and relaxation. 
Take time off. Purposely waste time. Enjoy your weekends. Take vacations. Hurrying through each day is less rewarding than slowing down and accomplishing less. You will feel better, your family will be happier and your immune system will improve. 
For more ideas on how to simplify your activities check out one or two of these books: When the Game is Over It All GoesBack in the Box by John Ortberg, Simplify Your Life byH. Norman Wright, Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, and Margins by Richard A. Swenson. 

Blessings, Dottie

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Psalm 119 Meditations and Prayers Relating to the Law of God

This is the tenth section of Psalm 119 – the longest chapter and the longest Psalm in the Bible. There are 8 different terms referring to Scripture used through out. These are: law, testimonies, precepts, statutes, commandments, judgments, word and ordinances. I continue to journal through each section.


65 You have dealt well with Your servant,
O Lord, according to Your word.

Father, you have been so good to me,
Just as it says in your Word.

66 Teach me good discernment and knowledge,
For I believe in Your commandments.

Father, Teach me to know and understand your ways,
I believe in you and your laws.

67 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
But now I keep Your word.

Father, for years I wandered away from you, so far away
But you drew me back and now I live by your word.

68 You are good and do good;
Teach me Your statutes.

Father, you are great and good, and you do great and good things;
Teach me to follow your good ways.

69 The arrogant have forged a lie against me;
With all my heart I will observe Your precepts.

Father,  People full of pride may make up lies about me,
But I focus my heart entirely on you and obey your laws.

70 Their heart is covered with fat,
But I delight in Your law.

Their heart is closed and thick,
While I take joy in your word.

71 It is good for me that I was afflicted,
That I may learn Your statutes.

My difficulties were good for me,
They prompted me to learn more of you and your law.

72 The law of Your mouth is better to me
Than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

Your Word feeds and stretches me,
It’s better than all the wealth in the world.

Blessings, Dottie

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Reasons to Believe in the Resurrection

This is the sixth of a series of blog posts with my sister Betty Haynie about what we believe. Our thoughts may be helpful to those who don’t believe in God. Betty wrote down her beliefs in detail several years ago. I’ll post her thoughts monthly and add my thoughts and beliefs to each one. Our thoughts are intentionally brief on subjects that could fill volumes.

Why I Believe in the Resurrection
By Betty Haynie

I believe in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul and mind. It is the most glorious knowledge there is. Without it, the Christian faith is worthless. Paul even says this.

13 But if there is no resurrection of the dead, not even Christ has been raised; 14 and if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is vain, your faith also is vain.
1 Corinthians 15:13-14 NIV

The Resurrection of Jesus is a historical fact and is verified throughout Scripture. I believe in the Good News of Salvation, the TRUTH of history in recording the Birth, Life, Death, Resurrection and Ascension of Jesus Christ, and the TRUTHS contained in God’s Word. 

After Jesus died on the cross He was seen by 500 people; His disciples saw Him after His death for a period of 40 days or so. He talked with them and walked with two of them on the road to Emmaus. He appeared in the Upper room where His disciples were mourning His loss. They touched Him. Jesus appeared to Thomas who had doubted the truth of his fellow disciples’ accounts. Jesus offered him the chance to put his hand into the wound in His side but, when he saw the nail holes in His hands, he believed. Jesus appearance was not a ghost or an apparition - He ate food!! It’s documented!! Before His ascension He appeared to them and he gave them instructions, they watched as he ascended to heaven.  

The life, death and resurrection of Jesus are verified in history. I’m sure you don’t deny the lives of Napoleon or Henry the VIII, or the events of December 7, 1941 or Martin Luther King’s Civil Rights achievements. These are all documented historical events.  And so are the birth, life, and death on the cross of Jesus the Christ. And so is His resurrection. 

Most of the Gospels were written within 30 years of His death, resurrection and ascension. Books on Napoleon and Genghis Kahn were written long after their deaths and yet most people believe every word of those books!! Do they check them out? I doubt it. I’m sure you recall the Holocaust and Hitler and the Viet Nam War. This is more recent history, but you can’t deny history that happened before you were born just because it wasn’t in the newspaper or on TV.

Be logical. Read the information Dottie and I have included here and come to logical conclusions.  If He wasn’t who He claimed to be He was either a Lunatic or a Liar OR...He Was The Lord!! That’s all the choices you get. You can’t say He was “just a great teacher” because He claimed to be so much more. He claimed to be GOD. John 10:30 “I and the Father are one.”  

No one in history is like Jesus. He alone deserves our trust and He alone is the path to God. No one comes to the Father EXCEPT through Jesus!

Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one can come to the Father, except through me.” John 14:6 NLT
Jesus and only Jesus has power over death. He came back from death!!

Blessings, Betty
Why I Believe in the Resurrection
By Dottie Parish

The Resurrection of Jesus Christ is the most glorious truth anyone can know! I believe in the resurrection with all my heart and soul and mind – as does Betty and every Believer. This belief is based on reason, facts and evidence. Christ’s resurrection changed the world. His resurrection means that Jesus conquered sin and death and Satan and all evil forces. His resurrection means everyone will live eternally – forever and ever.

My first strong memory of celebrating the resurrection was on Easter when I was sixteen. God touched my heart in new ways that year and I knew Jesus was my Savior and that the Bible was true. Since then I’ve learned the amazing depth of the Scripture accounts of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. There were 500 witnesses who saw Jesus after he was crucified. There was an empty tomb that no one could explain in any other way. It was heavily guarded yet it was empty.

Jesus was seen by some of the disciples over a period of forty days. And they saw him ascend to heaven. Barclay notes that his resurrection appearances had to come to a definite end rather than just peter out. He says, “If Jesus was to give his followers unanswerable proof that he had returned to glory the Ascension was absolutely necessary.”

As Betty noted, there is massive historical evidence that Jesus lived and was crucified. Timothy Keller in his book, Making Sense of God, says “the historical evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus is formidable.” He cites N. T Wright’s book, The Resurrection of the Son of God. Wright’s book on the Resurrection is 700 pages long. Read it and see if you still doubt the truth of the resurrection!

Betty cited 1 Corinthians 15:13-14. Here’s the J B Phillips amplification of this passage:
Now if the rising of Christ from the dead is the very heart of our message, how can some of you deny that there is any resurrection? For if there is no such thing as the resurrection of the dead, then Christ was never raised. And if Christ was not raised then neither our preaching nor your faith has any meaning at all. Further it would mean that we are lying in our witness for God, for we have given our solemn testimony that he did raise up Christ—and that is utterly false if it should be true that the dead do not, in fact, rise again! For if the dead do not rise neither did Christ rise, and if Christ did not rise your faith is futile and your sins have never been forgiven. Moreover those who have died believing in Christ are utterly dead and gone. Truly, if our hope in Christ were limited to this life only we should, of all mankind be the most to be pitied!

The resurrection is the heart of the gospel. It takes faith to deny there is life after death.

Read the biblical accounts of the resurrection here. Don’t miss out on knowing God personally and living with him in glory forever!

Blessings, Dottie

Watch for the next Reasons to Believe post on WHY I BELIEVE IN PRAYER in mid November by Betty and Dottie


Friday, October 20, 2017

Psych Info: Healing Inner Wounds


 Q. A friend of mine is seeing a counselor and she has been taught to identify her inner “wounded child,” her inner “critical parent” and her inner “adult.” This seems like a very helpful way to understand yourself. I often feel very hurt by what others say and do. Is this my “wounded child”? What do I need to do to heal this part of me? Where can I learn more about this approach?

A. There are many theories about personality and about therapeutic change. Many of these theories identify the broken part of us as the wounded child. Transactional Analysis was one of the earliest theories to do so. Dr. Eric Berne noticed that each of his patients moved in and out of various ego states. (An ego state is an identifiable system of feelings, behavior and physical reactions.) Dr. Berne identified three ego states that we all have and need: the Parent, the Adult and the Child. This is a very helpful way to identify the patterns in your own inner struggles and can help you heal your wounded child.      
The Parent ego state holds all the messages we have received from our parents and have internalized. This includes all the shoulds, oughts, expectations and criticisms from our parents and parent figures as well as all the nurturing messages they gave us. Thus, the parent ego state includes the “critical parent” and also the “nurturing parent.”

The Adult ego state is reason, logic. “Nothing but the facts.” It contains the facts about our day-to-day life and represents adult ways of dealing with life.
The Child ego state is our emotions and wants both now and through out our lives. It is the storehouse of all our past hurts and it is also the area in which we are free, spontaneous, and rebellious. Thus, the Child ego state contains both a “wounded child” and a “playful, free child.” 
No one has a perfect childhood. We all carry inner hurts into adulthood though we may not know this. We coped with these hurts by repressing them and they pop up later.

When we are hurt as very young children we cannot cope with our overwhelming emotions. We learn to freeze inwardly, to block out feelings, thoughts and memories, in order to survive. We are easily hurt as adults when something reminds us of a past hurt because this reservoir of pain has been tapped.
The wounded Parent copes by fighting. To ward off pain or ownership of problems the wounded Parent blames others. The wounded Adult has learned to flee and will avoid close relationships.
When we are in our whole Child we are spontaneous and playful. When we are in our whole Adult we behave as reasonable contented adults and we are interested in having meaningful intimate relationships. When we are in our whole Parent we will be very nurturing of ourselves and others.
Often our wounded parts are at war with each other. For example our wounded Parent may be critical of our wounded Child. You can help yourself by identifying which ego state you are in at any given time. When you become aware you are in one of your wounded ego states, tap into the whole nurturing Parent within and comfort yourself. This means no matter how childish your wounded Child is, you will comment from your nurturing Parent in a supportive, comforting way. 
For further ideas about healing the inner child read these classic books “I’m OK, You’re OK" by Eric Berne, M.D. and Your Inner Child of the Past by Hugh Missildine, M.D.  Counseling can also help. Resolving buried issues from the past often requires professional help.

A Christian counselor might use Transactional Analysis to help a client understand inner conflicts but would also encourage a Christian client to know God and turn to him for help and healing.

“Come unto Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matt. 11:28

Blessings, Dottie

Thursday, October 19, 2017


 Q.  I’ve been suffering with chronic pain for six months. Medication relieves the pain some but the side effects of the medication stop me from using very much of it. My doctors have told me to remain as active as I can and “live with the pain.” Can you suggest anything that would help me do this?

A. There are a number of things you can do that will help you learn to live with the pain or better yet lessen or end the pain. The most important one is to develop a positive attitude. Our thoughts have a profound effect on our moods and on our pain.

Herbert Benson, M.D. in his book Timeless Healing cites the placebo effect as evidence of the power of our thoughts. Patients believe sugar pills will alleviate their pain and their belief makes this happen. A research study showed that patients with chronic pain were more likely to be handicapped, no matter the severity of their pain, if they believed pain indicated impairment. In other words, those who believed pain and disability were always linked became more crippled. When patients focused their minds on thoughts of being active and well, even though in pain, their health improved. 

Andrew Weil in his book Spontaneous Healing says the psychic aspect of pain can be modified by hypnotherapy, guided imagery, meditation and acupuncture. He also suggests that deep breathing exercises can help. Similarly, the book Nutritional Healing, a huge reference book, lists many of the same procedures and includes also biofeedback, chiropractic and more. It suggests that the physical and psychological can be intertwined. So for example a physical reduction of pain may decrease anxiety and improve outlook. The mind can also be used to relax muscles and effect other physical changes that reduce pain.
How can you do this? Notice what you say to yourself about your pain. Thoughts such as “I can’t stand this pain” Or “I’m never going to feel any better” can cause you to tense up, causing more pain. Thoughts such as “What did I do to cause this?” or “Why is God punishing me?” are common to most of us but can lead to guilty anguish about something you didn’t cause.  Pain is not a punishment for something we’ve done.

Express your feelings - your fears, anxiety, and anger about what has happened to you.. When we express feelings we feel relief. Write about your feelings and then let it go. Distract yourself from the pain. Focus on something other than your symptoms. Focus on what you can still do, rather than on what you’re unable to do. Listen to music, watch TV, work a crossword puzzle. 

Practice relaxation exercises. Use your imagination to keep your mind off your pain and to help you relax. Visualize a peaceful scene. See yourself in this scene and use all your senses to notice specific details such as a soft breeze, a butterfly, puffy white clouds. Learning relaxation exercises reduces the tension in your body. Concentrate on deep breathing and letting go. 

Use your faith to help you.  Meditation and prayer will relax you. The Psalms can comfort you. Ask God for help, healing and peace of mind.
If your chronic pain has isolated you from family and friends and from activities you enjoy, make it a goal to get involved again. You may notice your pain less if you’re out doing things. 
Exercise as much as you can. Due to the pain, many sufferers avoid physical activity.  This leads to a loss of strength and flexibility which can lead to depression. Gentle exercise will help decrease pain and strengthen muscles giving you greater mobility and independence. 

The responses of family and friends to your chronic pain can add to your problems. If your family misunderstands your pain, they may minimize or even dismiss it. They may not believe it’s real. Their seeming lack of support may lead to hurt or angry feelings and to depression. 

The opposite response - overprotection, also has its problems. When family and friends coddle and baby someone with chronic pain, the sufferer may become more dependent and more disabled. Talk with family and friends and tell them specifically what kind of support you need.

If you need help putting these ideas into practice, consider joining a group for people with chronic pain.

Focusing on positive thoughts in the midst of pain is not easy. The key is to monitor your thoughts and don’t dwell on how bad you feel.  Acknowledge your illness or pain but think about other things most of the time. We can’t control what happens to us but we can learn to control our thoughts.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24 NASB

Blessings, Dottie