Sabbath Rest: Take Time to Slow Down and Rest

Q. Life is too busy. We are constantly under time pressure to get chores done, go some where, and do something.  I yearn for time alone, time to unwind and time to enjoy my family. We seem to only achieve rest and relief while on vacation. How can we lessen our busyness and stress? Can New Year Resolutions help along this line?  

A. “I’m too busy” seems to be a universal refrain in today’s world. We’re so overwhelmed by the demands and activities of each day that life doesn’t feel easy, pleasant or peaceful. We long to be calm and serene like Mary but we’re more like busy Martha. Some people even take pride in busyness, perhaps feeling important because of it. Our society pushes and pressures us in this direction and has convinced us that “down time” is wasted. But is it?

If we are spending our days in frantic effort with no time for rest, joy, serenity, or even fun - what are our priorities?  Have we lost sight of what we want in life? Have we lost sight of what God wants for us in life, as well? New Year Resolutions or plans along this line are in order.

Wayne Muller, in his book Sabbath: Remembering the Sacred Rhythm of Rest and Delight, suggests we have forgotten the Sabbath. The Hebrew word for Sabbath is “Shabbat” and means to stop, to rest. Most faiths prescribe some period of time each week dedicated to worship, singing, giving thanks, sharing meals and resting. It’s a time for being nurtured and renewed. It’s a time to let go of work and responsibilities. 

Mueller suggests that “rest is not just a psychological convenience; it is a spiritual and biological necessity.” If we’re sleep deprived and exhausted we’re not effective in any area of our life. Rest enables us to meet the demands of life with joy and ease and this improves our effectiveness in our work as well as in our relationships.

We don’t want to return to the legalistic or routine keeping of the Sabbath as our parents or grandparents observed it, but we can make the decision to find time for rest. Our Sabbath rest can be an hour, an afternoon or a Holy day. Many other activities will tempt you from your plan. Modern life seduces us away from Sabbath rest if we let it.

Here are some ways to create Sabbath rest.

1. Reevaluate your values and goals. Talk over with your family how you will make time for Sabbath rest. List the values you follow and the ones you would like to follow. Share these with your family. Change your activity schedule based on these values.

2. Give thanks before meals. This can be a meaningful time of connection for the whole family. You can also give thanks when you first wake up in the morning before you even get out of bed and at night before you fall asleep. Prayer and thanksgiving are restful activities that remind us of our blessings and of a power greater than us.

3. Pause during the day, take three deep breaths and pray or meditate. Tie this to some regular activity such as every time you stand up or sit down.

4. Pamper yourself. Take a nap or a leisurely bath. Both are good for your health. You don’t have to feel guilty about relaxing. 

5. Turn off the TV and the telephone during dinner. Create a regular period of uninterrupted time with your family and with yourself.

6. Take time for worship on a regular basis. It will restore your soul.

One of my favorite hymns says: “There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God, a place where sin cannot molest, near to the heart of God.“ When we draw near to God he draws near to us.

“Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 NLT

Blessings, Dottie

LEARNING TO RELAX

Q. I have high blood pressure and a nervous stomach. My doctor says it will help both conditions if I learn to relax. This amazes me. I thought both of these conditions were due to physical causes. How can I learn to relax when I’ve always been a tense person?

A. Our minds and bodies work together. Many physical symptoms and nervous symptoms are related to emotional stress. Someone has said, “We call it serenity when the mind is free of tension; we call it relaxation when the body is. They are really one and the same.” Relaxation is a powerful healing tool. There is research evidence that relaxation can lessen the effects of many physical symptoms as well as alleviating many psychological conditions. Persons with stress-related high blood pressure may find that regular relaxation will lower their blood pressure enough to decrease or even to eliminate the need for medication.

          

Relaxation has been shown to reduce many of our negative emotions - anger, anxiety, fear and depression. Many of these negative emotions are connected with heart disease. One study of men who took an afternoon nap showed that they had 30% to 50% less risk of heart attack. In another study individuals who were taught relaxation techniques were able to fall asleep four times faster than they were previously. Relaxation can even boost the functioning of our immune system. 

          

Relaxation will not cure everything but it is an amazingly effective way to enhance our quality of life.  Relaxation is almost discouraged by our culture. Our life styles are rushed and our schedules are crammed. Many of us don’t know how to relax. Relaxation can help all of us. Living without a daily time to relax is similar to driving your car with the brakes on all the time.  

          

When we are under stress our bodies and minds are geared for action. Our blood pressure and heart rate increases, our respiration increases, our muscles tense, the adrenaline flows. When we relax our heart rate and blood pressure decrease, our respiration decreases, our muscles relax, we feel calm.      

          

To learn how to relax your body and mind, set aside ten to twenty minutes twice a day for relaxation, meditation or prayer. Taking just these brief periods out of your busy day will improve your physical, emotional and spiritual health.

          

There are two basic steps to relaxation. 

1.  Repeat a word, prayer, or phrase.  Say this over and over.

2.  Passively ignore thoughts that come to your mind and return to repeating the word, prayer or phrase. 

Herbert Benson, M.D., who defined bodily calm as “the relaxation response” and discovered the steps which elicit it, has more recently discovered that faith is a helpful factor in learning to relax. Dr. Benson teaches his patients to pick a focus word or short phrase to say repetitively as described above. He was surprised that most of his patients chose prayer to focus their thoughts. He also found that when people chose a word or phrase that sprang from their deep beliefs and convictions they were more likely to continue the relaxation. In other words, if you use a prayer or phrase with deep meaning to you you will be more consistent in setting aside the time for doing this.

          

A faith focus also enabled Dr. Benson’s patients to elicit positive memories which aided their health.  Because of their faith they visualized wellness which facilitated their recovery. Their belief also helped them disconnect from unhealthy worries or negative thinking. Dr. Benson reluctantly began to explore the “faith factor” and he came to believe that we are biologically wired for faith. To learn more about this read Timeless Healing, The Power and Biology of Belief  by Herbert Benson, M.D.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Blessings, Dottie

WAKE UP CALLS

Q. My life never seems to go the way I want it to go. I move from one underpaid job to another and from one crisis to another. Six months ago I had a car accident and I was down sized from my job. Now I work for a company which may go out of business soon. My apartment was also flooded in the recent torrential rain fall. I know everyone’s dealing with the threat of terrorism but I was in crisis even before that. Why does all this disaster follow me around? 

A. Life is sending you many “wake up calls” rather than “disasters.” Wake up calls happen to all of us. Accidents, flooded apartments, job problems or changes upset us.  However, we don’t have to let these shape our lives. Someone has said, it’s not what happens to us but how we react to it that matters. Scott Peck, well known psychiatrist and author, says that life on earth is a celestial boot camp. Troubles can help us grow. 

          

In order to have the life you want you need a clear idea of what you want. You also must take risks to make this happen. Most of us avoid change. We muddle along in a job that isn’t satisfying and give little thought to where we want to go in life. It’s almost as though we’re sleep walking through life.

          

Crisis points in our life can force us out of our ruts. The Chinese character for crisis also means opportunity. When a job change is inevitable or an auto accident shakes our world we might look on these as wake up calls. Rather than seeing only the negative side to difficulties we can see them as an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to change the direction of our lives.To use problems as opportunities do the following:

          

1. Don’t get mad and don’t get even. Don’t blame others for the things that happen to you. Instead, take an honest look at yourself and the part you play in the way your life has gone. You may have come from a dysfunctional family but now you’re responsible for your life and you don’t have to let what’s happened in the past contaminate the future. Blaming others prevents us from growing. Anger, resentment and self pity keep us stuck. Get counseling if these are big issues for you.

          

2. Listen to each wake-up call “Life” sends you. Wake up calls are events that shake us up, that force us to change our lives in some way. A wake up call may even challenge our beliefs and values. When major changes are complicating or disrupting our lives we’re more open to growth because we’re forced out of our ruts. 

          

3. Take a risk as you plan your future life. Apply for jobs that pay you well. Take courses to up grade your skills. Do something new that feels risky. We may have difficulty sleeping and have physical symptoms. Change is scary. But this is how we grow. Your fear and other distressful feelings will not last. Too often we settle for a mediocre life instead of pursuing our dreams. 

                                                                                                                                               4. Discover meaning and purpose in your life.  What gives your life meaning? What is your purpose in life?  Faith in God will help you through a difficult transition and will give your life meaning.  Focusing on your purpose in life will clarify your direction and goals. 

          

5. Seek counseling when faced with a major loss that is overwhelming or when making a very difficult transition. It’s a sign of strength not weakness to acknowledge the need for help.

“Consider it all joy, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1: 2-3

Blessings, Dottie

TAKE TIME TO SLOW DOWN AND REST

Q. Life is too busy. We are constantly under time pressure to get chores done, go some where, and do something.  I yearn for time alone, time to unwind and time to enjoy my family. We seem to only achieve rest and relief while on vacation. How can we lessen our busyness and stress?    

SIMPLICITY OF ACTIVITY

Q. I feel pressured by time. The more pressured I feel the more stressed I become. My friends seem to be able to relax and enjoy life yet still keep their homes in order, feed their families, have a career and even do volunteer work. Why can’t I? How can I learn to not feel so pressured by time?

A. Many of your friends may feel as pressured as you do. Busyness and “hurry sickness” is epidemic in our culture. Studies show that the average American sleeps two and a half hours less and works ten hours more than those of fifty years ago. The many technological advances which we enjoy - computers, TVs, cell phones, DVDs, access to others via e-mail, vast amounts of information on the Internet, and an array of labor saving devices create more complexity in our lives than ever before. 

         

Even our cell phones take our time and attention. We are intrigued with the games, distracted by messages coming in and hooked on the latest Facebook post. All of these activities cut into family time, sleep time, restful time. Every new technology changes the way we live. 

         

We long for simplicity yet we enjoy the luxuries we have. As a result we live in constant overdrive. We pride ourselves on being able to “multi-task” - which means we try to do two or three things at once. Our culture has convinced us that “down time” is wasted. Most disturbingly, when we feel such time pressure we may see our family members and friends as obstacles that slow us down rather than as the loves of our life; the people who care for us and will always be there for us. Our hurried world glorifies productivity and even workaholism as the price of achieving our ambitions. As a result our relationships suffer and our health and well being suffer.

         

So what is the answer? How can you solve your problem of time pressure and hurry sickness? We all need to examine our priorities and decide what’s really important in life. We need to realize we can’t do everything. We need to set boundaries on our time based on our priorities.

         

We should be able to work hard and yet still have time to play with our children, eat meals as a family, take naps, read a book, get enough sleep. We need to trim our schedules to make time for rest and relaxation. We can turn off our phones during dinner - or even beyond! We can reduce the number of activities in which we and our children are involved. We can learn to say no.

         

Our attitudes, beliefs and thoughts can contribute to feeling pressured by time. Are your expectations of yourself too ambitious? Pare them down. Don’t rush, breath deeply, relax. Think positively and realistically about what you can accomplish. Let go of perfectionistic expectations. 

         

Carve out some alone time for prayer. Use routine activities, such as your morning shower, a coffee break or a lunch hour alone as times to pray rather than as times to worry. Take your mind off work and express gratitude for the blessings in your life. Exercise times can also be used for times of solitude and relaxation. 

         

Take time off. Purposely waste time. Enjoy your weekends. Take vacations. Hurrying through each day is less rewarding than slowing down and accomplishing less. You will feel better, your family will be happier and your immune system will improve. 

         

For more ideas on how to simplify your activities check out one or two of these books: When the Game is Over It All GoesBack in the Box by John Ortberg, Simplify Your Life byH. Norman Wright, Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, and Margins by Richard A. Swenson. 

Blessings, Dottie

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT

Are You Running on Empty? Three Solutions for Stress

Rain splashes on the windshield as I drive home in a downpour. The gas gauge reads empty. My spiritual gauge also sits on empty. With fifteen more miles to go, I worry and stew, but keep going. Suddenly I remember, I ran out of gas in my teens and my Dad rescued me. “Lord, help me,” I whisper.

    

“Lord, help me. What should I do?” Then I remember—cars today are different; they have a reserve tank good for twenty-five or thirty miles. My fear vanishes. “Thank you, Lord! “ Another thought comes! I’m a new model, also—a new creation; I have a reserve spiritual tank, a connection to God. He fills and refreshes me when my spirit sags.

As people of faith do you ever feel you’re running on empty? Do you ever feel overwhelmed or stressed? We all do at times. Life is busy, life is stressful, life distracts us from the most important things. We must remind ourselves of the solutions to our stress/emptiness/frustration and _____­­­­­­­­­­­­­ (you name it) problem. How do we fill our spiritual tank when it’s nearly empty? There are three solutions. Three words.

Prayer. Scripture. Worship. These are essential in the life of a Christian, in the life of a new creation in Christ. These three things will help us cope with most anything. These connect us with God. All three of these must be priorities and are intertwined with our corporate worship. Prayer, Scripture and Worship will fill our emptiness and recharge our spirits.

Worship as a body of believers is essential to our individual growth in Christ and to our unity as a church. Just showing up isn’t enough. As people of faith we influence our children, our relatives and our friends. We must lead the way in prioritizing corporate worship and in learning how to truly “be there” during it. There are several steps essential to grow us in Christ and to deepen our worship (and end our stress!).

Prepare for worship all week long. The pastor, choir and leaders prepare for worship and we must also. Prepare by praying for the pastor, choir, musicians, teachers and leaders throughout the week. Pray about your stress, frustration and worry also. Jesus’ prayer life shows his dependence on God. “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (emphasis added - Luke 5:15). If He needed to pray, certainly we do. When we pray we admit our powerlessness, humbling ourselves before God. We place our faith in him. We confess our sins daily. “Forgive us this day our sinful self-focus.” Prayers of confession and repentance free us.           

Paul tells us to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This is a challenge! If we pray when we first wake up, pray before each meal and pray at bedtime we can come closer to fulfilling Paul’s admonition to pray continually. Prayer changes us, grows us. A daily time of prayer is essential to our Christian walk. God is with us. When we ignore him it’s similar to ignoring a good friend who is right in the room with us. God wants a close relationship – comparable to marriage. Would you think it was sufficient to talk to your husband only once a week?

Similarly we must read his Word on a daily basis. Read and meditate on His Word. Read a chapter a day at least. Plan when you will do this. Reading it together as a family will feed everyone. So try it at a meal. We recently started one chapter from Scripture at dinner every day.

Spend ten minutes a day in silence before God. Prayerful silence helps us let go of the distractions of life. Quiet your mind and turn your thoughts to God. “Those who wait on the lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31).

Adoration and praise are great stress relievers. Shoot prayers of praise and admiration daily throughout the day. Teach your children to do this also. Sing praises to his name! We often sing the Doxology at meals. Try it - it will lift your spirits.

When we do the above things daily we will come to church prepared to worship the Lord.  We are active worshipers, not passive ones. Then we will sing praises to his name. We will “give thanks to the lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes sing his praises. Tell everyone about his miracles. Exult in his holy name; O worshipers of the lord rejoice!” Psalm 105:1-3

When we truly worship Him on Sunday we prepare our hearts and minds for our daily stresses ahead. And we meet them with Prayer, Scripture and Worship. Keep the circle going!

Blessings, Dottie