PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Q.  I know that thinking positively is best for our health and well-being but I have a hard time doing this. I start out in a positive frame of mind and then my kids start arguing, my boss gets critical, the traffic is terrible and the cares of the day just get to me. What’s the secret of learning to think positively? How can anyone who is sick or faced with a tragedy think positively?

A. Positive thinking is a health giving trait which we all need to learn. Even though there have been books written on the subject, there is a one word answer to how to become a positive thinking person. The word is “Gratitude.” If you practice gratitude you will learn positive thinking.

Hazen G. Werner in his book Live With Your Emotions, tells of a woman who had run out of hope. She felt trapped and despairing. One night in the midst of this she cried out “Thank you, God, anyway.” For a moment she felt better. She began to thank God more and her mood lightened. Soon she able to be grateful for several hours at a time and her hope grew.

       

David, who wrote most of the Psalms in the Bible, gives us a model of how to practice gratitude. In the midst of intense difficulties including despairing inner struggles David bursts forth with gratitude for every blessing. He is very human in his struggles with difficulties, even wondering where God is at times yet he continues to practice gratitude. 

       

How can we be grateful in the midst of tragic circumstances? How can we be grateful when we are sick and in pain or when we suffer major losses? We will need to cry and grieve and be upset but we can also look for and count our blessings in the midst of tragedy.

       

Thomas Edison, the genius inventor, lost his laboratory in a blazing fire in December 1914. The next morning, as he walked in the smoldering rubble he said, “There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God, we can start anew.” 

When things go well we take our blessings for granted. We even take credit for much that has been given to us by God or with the help of others. When tragedy strikes, big or small it forces us to recognize what’s important in life; that we need God and that we need each other. The tragedy thus becomes a blessing. 

There is a legend about a day when the sun didn’t appear. It was dark at eight AM, still dark at nine AM , ten AM, noon. By four PM people had gone to their churches to pray for the sun to return. The next morning crowds congregated outside to watch the eastern sky. When the first rays of sunlight streaked the sky the people burst into cheers and applause. They felt so grateful.

       

Minor annoyances of daily life are often more difficult to look on with gratitude than are major trials. We rise to meet a tough challenge yet let petty annoyances drag us down. Gratitude is still the key. If we count our blessings every day we will be better able to recognize the smallness of the annoyances. 

       

Learning a grateful attitude takes practice. This Thanksgiving Day let’s all practice gratitude and keep it up in the days and months ahead.

“Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens.That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16

Blessings, Dottie

GIVING THANKS

Q.  Thanksgiving seems to hold little meaning for most people today. It’s just a holiday from work, an excuse to eat too much and a chance to relax before the holiday shopping begins. Shouldn’t Thanksgiving mean more to us than this?

A.  Most of us know the story of the first Thanksgiving but we haven’t learned its meaningful lessons. The pilgrims were grateful for surviving a bitter winter though some of their number did not survive. They also were grateful for the religious freedom they enjoyed here. And they were thankful for the corn the Indians had given them. They had planted and harvested the corn and this enabled them to make it through the winter.

The pilgrims lived very primitively, faced many hardships, and had little materially, but they counted their blessings and thanked God for what they did have.

Our materialistic, cynical and fast-paced world has lost touch with the practice of giving thanks. The pilgrims, I suspect, gave thanks every day, not just on Thanksgiving. They had a habit of counting their blessings. They also weren’t in a big hurry all the time. They had fewer distractions. They could relax and enjoy the present moment.

         

We marvel at their ability to give thanks in the midst of great physical hardships.  Instead, we grumble and complain when we’re delayed by traffic or have to stand in line at the grocery store. The pilgrims were a hardier bunch. Or were they? Perhaps their ability to enjoy each moment and to withstand hardships stemmed from their constant prayerfulness. They were able to be positive and to rise above the difficulties because they gave thanks routinely.

         

If this is true, we need to take a lesson from the pilgrims and make a practice of giving thanks. They lived a simple but difficult life one day at a time. We, in contrast are so focused on getting ahead, making more money, buying a better house or a better car. Are we forgetting what’s really important? 

         

Gratitude helps us notice little kindnesses we take for granted. Gratitude helps us notice blue skies, sunny days, a beautiful sunset, autumn leaves. Gratitude helps us remember what’s right with our relationships, ourselves, our work, and our life.  Gratitude focuses us on positives. Gratitude focuses us on God.

To develop a habit of thanksgiving and make Thanksgiving Day more meaningful:

1. Read stories about the first Thanksgiving and notice the lessons we can learn from the Pilgrims.

2. Take time during or after Thanksgiving dinner for each person to tell the three things they are most thankful for. 

3. Give thanks to the “Indians” in your life; those unexpected people who have helped you. Invite them to dinner.

4. Make a habit of asking a blessing at meals every day. Teach your children a prayer or encourage them to make up one. Invite each member of the family to take turns offering the blessing.

5. Keep a daily Gratitude Journal in which you write down five things you’re thankful for. This practice will help you become a more positive person. It will make you aware of many blessings we take for granted. It will most importantly bring you closer to God.

6. When frustrations occur give thanks for what they can teach you. For example, having to wait in line can teach us patience, if we will let it. If we consistently count our blessings we will live happier and more positively in any circumstance. 

7. Read Thanksgiving Scripture on Thanksgiving Day.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 

Psalm 100

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the Lord Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

For the Lord is good;

His loving kindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

         

This Thanksgiving Day make plans to give thanks every day of the year.

Blessings, Dottie

What is Worship?

Worship Defined

What is worship? Is it just what you do in a church service? Or can you worship anywhere?

Here are some thoughts on worship:

“Those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint” (Isa. 40:31). What a promise! When we wait on God he strengthens us. Our spirit soars like an eagle. “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” (v. 39). Worship is waiting on God. We bow before him, we praise him, we glorify him and he strengthens us.

         

Worship lies at the heart of the Christian faith. Moses and the Israelites worshipped God, and his presence, his glory, filled the tabernacle and covered their travel—as a cloud by day and as fire by night. (Exodus 13:21) Moses spent days in the presence of God and his face glowed. (Exodus 34:29) Jesus worshipped regularly in the synagogue, taught his disciples to pray and told the woman at the well to worship “in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). The New Testament church worshipped together with songs and teachings from scripture. Paul told the Colossians, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Col. 3:16). Paul stressed orderly worship that would teach and enlighten us.

         

Worship connects us with the presence of God. True worship, opening our hearts to God and praising him, is fearful and astonishing. It changes us. Worship is as vital to our faith as breathing is to our bodies. We bow in adoration, devotion, respect and awe. God is holy and eternal. We are finite. We humble ourselves in this holy encounter. We meet God weekly in corporate worship, as a church body. The fragrant aroma of his presence in us and in the church increases in proportion to our prayer and worship. ( Changing Churches pg. 101-102.)

Here’s another excellent definition of worship: 

“In worship the conscience is quickened by the holiness of God, the mind is fed by the truth of God, the heart is opened to the love of God, and the will is devoted to the purpose of God.”  William Temple, clergyman                                                                                                                    

How do you spell Worship? How about this?

Wait on the Lord. “They who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” (Isaiah 40:31)

Open your heart to God. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5)

Repent of your sin. Humble yourself before him. Rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. (1 Peter 2:1)

Silence all but his word and presence. We must silence the world and our inner dialog. "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

Humble yourselves before him. He is holy, we are not. “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts, the whole earth is full of His glory.” (Isaiah 6:3)

Involve your body, mind, will and emotions in adoration.  “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)

              

Praise his name.  “Sing praises to God, sing praises; sing praises to our King, sing praises.” (Psalm 47:6)

Here’s a dictionary definition I just found. “Worship is to honor God with extravagant love and extreme submission.” We worship an amazing God. We must be extravagant in our love and extreme in our submission to our Holy God.

Blessings,

Dottie

THANKSGIVING IN THE MIDST OF TROUBLE

Q. We traditionally celebrate Thanksgiving Day dinner with every family member expressing their gratitude about the year. This year, however, we have had many problems - job losses, deaths in the family, and accidents. How can we be thankful in the midst of all these troubles? 

          

A.  Giving thanks in the midst of troubles or tragedy is a challenge. Many would consider it impossible or even irrational. Grieving is normal and essential to work through disappointments and losses. Tears and some depression are normal at these times. However, we can focus on grief and depression too much. We do this when we forget to count our blessings. 

                                                                                               

The apostle Paul, who suffered beatings, shipwrecks, and even imprisonment wrote,  “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11). He didn’t say he was content about his circumstances but in his circumstances.

         

Joni Eareckson Tada was paralyzed as the result of a diving accident in her teens. She used the Bible verse “Give thanks in all circumstances” (I Thessalonians 5:18) as her anchor. She says, “I gritted my teeth, pushed aside feelings of despair, and willfully gave thanks for everything from the hospital breakfast of cold cornmeal mush to the grueling hours of daily physical therapy.” 

When she began this she didn’t feel thankful. She notes the difference between feeling thankful and giving thanks. Feeling thankful involves our emotions. Giving thanks is an act of the will. The Bible verse doesn’t expect us to give thanks for the difficult times. We only need to give thanks in them. Joni Eareckson Tada says that months later a miracle occurred. She began to feel thankful. Her despair lifted and her attitude brightened.

         

While attending a niece’s wedding years ago I took a serious fall which pushed two teeth up in my mouth and caused five stitches worth of damage to my upper lip. Though this was minor in comparison to the experiences of Joni Eareckson Tada or the writer of today’s letter, I found myself giving thanks that I was not knocked out, broke no bones, and was able to attend the wedding later the same day. I was very upset about what had happened to me but still thankful in many ways. 

Sarah Ban Breathnach in her book Simple Abundance recommends keeping a Gratitude Journal in which we write down five things we’re grateful for each day. Doing this on a daily basis for several months will change us. A gratitude journal helps us notice the small caring gestures of friends and family members. And we then thank them more. Thanking others for being in our life and for the things they do for us enhances our marriage and our family life as well as changing us, and making us contented. 

A gratitude journal will help you see that even in the midst of trouble or pain, there is this, this and this going well in your life. It will also help you recognize what the difficulty or tragedy has taught you. 

David, who wrote most of the Psalms in the Bible, wrote about his despairing inner struggles yet he also was grateful for every blessing. He very humanly describes his struggles, even wondering if God has abandoned him, yet he continues to practice gratitude.

 

When things go well we take our blessings for granted. Difficulties force us to recognize what’s important in life; that we need God and that we need each other. Gratitude helps us grow spiritually. It connects us with God, the source of our life and our hope. 

Give thanks on Thanksgiving Day in spite of your troubles. A gratitude journal will help you learn to be contented in any situation and Thanksgiving Day is a perfect time to begin one. Have a blessed and thankful Thanksgiving!

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”          1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NASB

Blessings, Dottie

Giving Thanks is an Act of the Will

Q.  I know that you encourage people to think positively, count their blessings and be grateful. In other posts you have talked about the benefits of gratitude - that it helps us physically, mentally and spiritually. 

How can anyone do this in the midst of a very trying time ln their life? Also, how can someone learn to do this who has a life time habit of negative thinking?

A.  You ask two very important questions about learning to think positively and be thankful. We all face some dark times in life. We face marital or family problems, disability, illness, the loss of a job, the death of a loved one - to name a few common experiences. In these situations it’s normal to go through a variety of emotions. 

We feel out of control. Our life has been turned upside down. The rug has been pulled out from under us. Grieving is normal and essential to work through our disappointment and loss. Tears and some depression are normal at these times. 

         

However, like the person who has a life long habit of being negative, we can wallow in our grief and depression too much and too long. We do this when we paint everything with a black brush. We do this when we forget to count our blessings. We do this when we take our good fortune for granted. We do this when we’re wrapped up in ourselves and think life owes us only good times. We do this when we forget to trust and thank God.

Joni Eareckson Tada was paralyzed as the result of a diving accident in her teens. Yet she has gone on to lead a life that has touched and helped many others though she is still confined to a wheel chair. She says that the Bible verse “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) is her anchor. “I gritted my teeth, pushed aside feelings of despair, and willfully gave thanks for everything from the hospital breakfast of cold cornmeal mush to the grueling hours of daily physical therapy.” 

         

When she began this she didn’t feel thankful. She notes the difference between feeling thankful and giving thanks. Feeling thankful involves our emotions. Giving thanks is an act of the will. Also, the Bible verse doesn’t expect us to give thanks for the difficult times. We’re only supposed to give thanks in them. Joni Eareckson Tada says that months later a miracle occurred. She began to feel thankful. Her despair lifted and her attitude brightened.

To learn from Joni Eareckson Tada, we must make a habit of counting our blessings. This is not easy for someone to do who has a habit of pessimism. For any of us it will require a decision to do this, an act of our will, that over and over again we will keep track of our blessings. 

As I’ve noted before, a gratitude journal is very helpful in disciplining us in this habit.  Write down in a notebook five things you’re thankful for each day. Look for simple pleasures - seeing a cardinal in the snow, the laughter of a child, the smile of a friend. 

         

To change a constant habit of pessimism requires moment by moment attention to our thoughts. We change our negative mindset by an act of the will, over and over again stopping the negative thoughts and focusing on the pluses in our lives. Prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit can help you. With practice we can make giving thanks a habit and soon we will really feel thankful.

         

This Thanksgiving Day let’s all thank God for our blessings and let’s begin a written gratitude journal and give thanks to God every day of the year. Doing so will bless us.

“Give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Blessings, Dottie

Thanksgiving: A Celebration!

Celebrate Thanksgiving!

Life is not easy and often life is extremely difficult. However, even in the best of times many of us dwell on the negative side of things and fail to notice the positive side.  We take many of life’s joys and pleasures for granted. We fail to notice the positive moments paralleling our negative ones.

   

Luci Swindoll in her book You Bring The Confetti, God Brings The Joy, challenges us to celebrate life. She literally means we should throw a party at every opportunity and celebrate. She views life as “a festival to be enjoyed rather than a drudgery to be endured.” 

   

She tells of having to leave her office on an errand on a dreary day when she was out of sorts. She asked God to send her a “perk,” something to cheer her up.  Just then she turned a corner and saw in the cab of a pickup truck, two clowns decked out in red wigs and painted faces. They smiled toothless smiles at her as she drove by. All day long this incident lifted her spirits as she thought about it.

   

She suggests that life is full of unrecognized “perks” ready to bring us joy. But we need to notice them and celebrate them, not take them for granted or miss them.

   

Here are some ways this Thanksgiving we can celebrate and be optimistic:

Celebrate Now. 

Learn to live in the present and savor each moment. We must learn to notice some of the enjoyable experiences today brings. We can’t do this if we’re pessimistic. We can’t do this if we’re dwelling on regrets or resentments in the past or if we’re worrying about the future. We must be fully present in the now. Even in the midst of trouble we can notice the laughter of a child or the smile of a friend.

   

Celebrate Friends and Family. 

Think of those who have loved you and helped you throughout your life. Think of the people who have influenced you and made a difference in your life. Reach out to the people currently in your life and let them know you appreciate them. Celebrate them!  Remember, no one is perfect, think of the positive qualities of the people in your life. 

   

Celebrate Accomplishments. 

Most of us dwell on our failures and mistakes. We forget the successes big and small that we’ve had. Make a list of the things you’ve accomplished in life. Remember finding jobs, and job promotions. Remember paying off debts, learning a new skill, climbing a mountain. Remember difficult challenges you’ve met, illnesses you’ve survived. Remember the love you've given to others. The list can be endless. 

   

Celebrate Beauty. 

There is amazing beauty in a glorious sunset, in a starlit sky, in a rose garden or in a single rose. Beauty is also found in the words of a song or poem that inspires and in music that lifts our heart and soul. There is beauty in every day. We must not take it for granted.

Celebrate God. 

When we count our blessings we feel like celebrating. When we’re grateful for the blessings in our life, our troubles are minimized. When we notice God’s kindness and faithfulness, all else seems less important. Luci Swindoll says, “Let’s throw a party in celebration of the God who brings us joy!” That’s the way our Thanksgiving holiday began and that’s what it’s all about. Let’s celebrate Thanksgiving!

“Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100

Blessings, Dottie

This didn't go out prior to Thanksgiving! I hope readers enjoy it and give thanks, count your blessings through all the holidays.

Grateful Hearts

Q.  I grew up in a very poor family and as a result I learned to be grateful for even the bare necessities of life. I've been able to give my children more than I had, but they seem to take everything for granted. Even though they're still young they're very materialistic and greedy. How can I teach my children to be grateful?

Teaching Children to be Grateful

We need to encourage gratitude in our land of plenty. Most of us forget how fortunate we are. A grateful attitude is good for our health. Cynicism, the opposite, is associated with disease. Gratitude is an inner feeling; it cannot be taught directly. It springs up, unbidden, within our hearts. However, there are many things we can do to encourage this feeling or attitude to flourish in the hearts of our children.

           

1. Be appreciative of every gift your children give you. Children often give gifts that are unnoticed. The dandelions picked and brought to Mom are a gift. The drawing proudly brought home from school is a gift. Parents who recognize these gifts will display them proudly and thank the giver. When we are too busy to notice their gifts we discourage a budding giver. If we criticize the gift because it isn't perfect we squelch the giver further.

           

2. Give praise to your children. Tell them specifically what unique and individual traits you appreciate about them; what you are grateful for in them. "I'm so glad you are friendly with others."  "I love the way you smile." Your gratitude is a model which teaches them to also be appreciative.

           

3. Share your own gratitude with your children. Let your children see you wonder at the beauties of nature and the joys of human relationships. "My what a beautiful day this is!"  "Doesn't this rose look and smell wonderful?" "Isn't Grandma a loving person?" Too often, all they hear us talk about are our problems in life, our aches and pains, or our criticisms.

           

4. Involve your children in a project helping others. They can contribute good used toys or clothing or part of an allowance to help a family in need at Christmas. Our gratitude is often sparked in contrast to those less fortunate.

           

5. Pray with your children. When your children say their prayers with you at night encourage them to think about what they’re thankful for each day. Accept whatever thanks they express, without criticism. Giving thanks at meals also teaches children to be grateful.

           

6. Develop thanksgiving rituals at meals, especially holidays. At Thanksgiving dinner you might have each member of the family name three things they are thankful for. You can also read thanksgiving messages in the Psalms.

7, Gratitude demands a receiver. Ultimately our gratitude is to God who gave us life and our world. Gratitude to God is modeled for our children every week in every church. If you want to teach your children gratitude, be active in your faith.

All of us need to remind ourselves to be thankful. In the hustle and bustle of "getting ahead" or even just "getting by" we forget to appreciate and be thankful for the things that mean the most to us; the things that give us meaning and purpose in life.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever.” Psalm 106:1

Blessings, Dottie

Thanksgiving—A time to count our blessings!

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow;

praise Him, all creatures here below;

praise Him above, ye heavenly host;

praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

My husband and I have been singing the Doxology before every meal for several months, in addition to saying grace. This lifts our spirits out of the mundane tasks or issues of the day and reminds us to count our blessings.

Thanksgiving is traditionally a time to thank God for our blessings. Many of us take for granted our good fortune, our good health and our freedom. Paul urges us go give thanks in all circumstances. Give thanks even when we’re unhappy? What a revolutionary idea. Paul lives this out and so do other remarkable Christians.

Benjamin Weir, a missionary, was imprisoned for 16 months in Lebanon under terrible conditions in 1984-85. In an interview immediately after his release, reporters asked how he spent his time; how did he cope with boredom and despair? His answer stunned the reporters. He said simply, “Counting my blessings.” He went on to say: “Some days I got to take a shower. Sometimes there were some vegetables in my food.  And I could always be thankful for the love of my family.”

    

We can understand the astonishment of the reporters. Most of us fail to count our blessings in the midst of abundance. We relax in our comfortable homes. We feast daily on plenty of food. We enjoy freedom. Friends and family surround us. We take our blessings for granted much of the time.

Most of us spend part of each day, week or month complaining, feeling depressed, forlorn, or angry about some circumstance we’re facing that isn’t to our liking. Usually minor annoyances are the cause our angst.

We need to thank God for our blessings daily. We need to cultivate an attitude of gratitude even when we’re down. When we consistently count our blessings we notice God’s abundant provision for us. Counting our blessings brings us closer to him. It helps us remember God’s in charge. It helps us put our trust completely in Him.

This doesn’t mean we never suffer or feel depressed. When we face a major crisis or tragedy, we will grieve. We may go through more tears and sorrow than we’ve ever known before. But in the midst of this we can also count our blessings. We can be thankful for tears that help us express our pain. We can look for and be thankful for a lesson in what we’re going through. 

Singing the doxology at every meal can help us establish an attitude of gratitude. This Thanksgiving Day let’s count our blessings.

“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

                                                                                                1 Thessalonians 5:18

Blessings, Dottie