Q. The unrest in our
world today with terrorism, riots, massive immigrants flooding into Europe , as well as droughts, forest fires and earth quakes, make me worry about the future. I’m in my forties with a family and a career.
My life is busy and full. The instant uprooting of people from their home and
country, the many deaths by terrorism and the divisiveness of our own country
are disconcerting. I know death is inevitable for everyone but now I realize not
everyone makes it to old age.
I worry what would happen to my children if I died tomorrow.
I wonder how I would handle the sudden death of my wife or a child. How can I
get over these worries? What can I do to regain peace of mind?
A. Most
of us avoid thinking about death. We know we’re going to die but we don’t really believe it. In fact, our culture encourages a denial of death, at least until
we’re sick or elderly. We’re focused on the daily necessities such as such as
earning a living, paying our mortgage, caring for our children. We’re
overwhelmed with a multitude of details of life - car and home repair, cooking,
laundry, chauffeuring kids, business trips and PTA meetings. The list is endless. We seldom
take the time to think about life and death issues.
The many
issues in the world news serve to wake us up. These events remind us that the
length of our life on earth is not guaranteed. Our life is a gift that we need to
cherish and use wisely. The reality of death helps us recognize the value of
life. Faith in eternal life helps dispel worries about dying. I’ll say more on
that later.
First there
are some tasks that will help you prepare for death. It’s essential for
everyone to have a will - even if you have little or no money. If you have
young children specify in your will who you would like to be their care takers
if both parents should die. For example, you may have two sisters but one is
closer to the children and willing to do this. It’s best to have your will done
by a lawyer.
You may
want to write letters to your children to be given to them at significant times
in their life - graduation from high school or their wedding for example. Though
you will probably be present at the time, write these letters now for added
peace of mind.
Make
peace with your loved ones. If you have failed to forgive someone - do so now. If
you have hurt someone and not asked for their forgiveness - do so now. If you
have failed to tell loved ones that you love them - do so now. These may not be
easy steps but they will make your life more meaningful and you will be at
peace about your death whenever it comes. Forgive yourself, also. No one leads
a perfect life.
We need
to plan for our own death. If you knew you only had a week, a month or a year
to live what would you need or want to do in the time you have left? Talk these issues over with your wife.
Cherish
each day. Make relationships and giving to others a priority. Help others in need. Slow down so you can appreciate the beauty of
our world and the joy in loving moments.
Turn to
God. Faith in God is the best antidote to fear of death. Pray, read scripture,
find a church that lifts your spirits and loves you and that also answers your
questions about life and death. Seek God and He will give you peace.
The
greatest peace will come to you when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and
Savior. Then you will be certain of eternal life. You will live forever with
Him.
“God so loved the world that he gave his
only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but will have
eternal life.” John 3:16 NLT
Blessings,
Dottie
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