AVOIDING INTIMACY

Q. My first marriage ended because we drifted apart. Now my second wife is turning away from me. She hasn’t said anything but she’s always busy and we don’t have the fun or companionship we had during the first two years of our marriage. What causes a couple to drift apart and become distant?   

A.  Marriage is an intimate relationship. In order for a marriage to work couples need to connect with each other in a deeper way than they do in most other relationships. They need to get below the surface of superficial small talk and be open with each other. Couples who drift apart do so because they find many ways to avoid intimacy. Below is a list of some of the ways we avoid intimacy.

1. Don’t talk. This is the most basic rule for avoiding closeness. If you must talk, don’t talk about anything important. Talk about the weather or sports.

         

2. Don’t show your feelings. If you express any sadness, happiness, irritation or caring you’re revealing your inner self. If you show no feelings you will give a clear message that you don’t want to be intimate.

         

3. Keep smiling, especially if something is bothering you. Hide all negative feelings from your partner. This way your partner will believe that everything is okay in your relationship and you won’t have to be intimate.

         

4. Keep busy. Work long hours so you can avoid spending time with your partner.  Always have chores or activities you need to do so there’s no time for the two of you to spend together. This will give your spouse the message that he or she is not as important to you as your work or other interests and will definitely help you avoid intimacy. 

         

5. Always be right. Never admit you’re wrong. If you admit you’re wrong you will be at risk of admitting you’re human. This also could lead to you admitting your partner is right and that his or her viewpoint needs to be considered. Before you know it you’ll be on verge of being intimate.

6. Don’t disagree. If you disagree you may discover you and your partner are different. This may lead to you talking about the differences and having to make adjustments. As a result you may have to tell your partner who you really are and what you really feel. This could lead to intimacy.

7. Don’t tell your partner what you want. Make your partner guess what you want.  Then when your partner guesses wrong you can tell your partner they don’t understand you or love you or they would know what you want without asking.  This will prevent intimacy and also drive your partner crazy.

         

8. Look out for yourself. Think of yourself as number one. Do whatever you feel like doing without consulting your partner. Think of yourself as okay and your partner as not okay. 

9. Keep the television turned on. Keep the TV on during meals and while you’re talking. Watching TV will prevent you and your partner from talking to each other.  It will also keep you from noticing that you don’t communicate. 

         

10. Avoid all show of affection. Don’t give hugs, kisses, say “I love you.” Don’t show any appreciation or give any praise to your partner. Keep sex as matter of fact and quick as possible.

         

To have a closer marriage, do the opposite of these ten ways to avoid intimacy. If you grew up in a family that avoided connecting, these changes may feel risky.  Make small changes and keep working on it over a period of time. 

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” Proverbs 3:3

Blessings, Dottie

CHANGING HABITS and ACHIEVING GOALS

Q. I seem to have no will power. Every New Year I decide to diet and after about ten days I’m back to eating sweets and eating too much. I decide to exercise and the same thing happens.  I’m also a worrier and don’t know how to stop worrying. How can I change my bad habits and develop some good ones? How can reach my dreams and goals? 

A. Webster’s dictionary defines habit as “a thing done often and hence easily, a custom, a usual way of doing things.” We develop a variety of habits or routines throughout our life time. We may wake up at the same time every day; get ready in the same order - shower, dress, breakfast. We may even have a routine of always putting on our left shoe before we put on our right shoe. 

      Habits or routines help us in many ways. Good habits, firmly established take little thought. We do them almost automatically. We drive to work taking the same route each day. We pay our bills at the same time each month. We go to church every Sunday. These are all habits or routines we’ve established.

Habits rule us whether they are bad or good. We are captive to our habits. We want to change our ways and accomplish more—whether it’s losing weight, exercising more or finishing a to-do list. So why don’t we? If you really want to change you can, but you must set clear goals and change your habits.

       New habits begin with one thought. That’s right ONE THOUGHT!  We think about doing something and we decide to do it. If we’re changing a negative habit, for example in our diet, we now have an attitude of caution and awareness about what we eat. We also have an “I can” attitude and feel optimistic about accomplishing our goal. The attitude change leads to an action which leads to a repeated action and eventually we have a habit. 

     

      The key is to keep doing the new behavior for six or eight weeks. It will take this long to establish a new habit. A negative habit is overcome one day at a time, the same way it began. A new habit is established one day at a time. Here are a few tips to help you:

      1. Focus on your successes and congratulate yourself for these. 

      2. Expect relapses and learn from them. Not many can change a habit instantly. When you learned to ride a bike you fell down a few times before you could balance. The same is true for creating a new habit. The relapses can teach you things. What thoughts or feelings triggered your return to old habits?

      3. You do have will power. Our will is a powerful part of us, capable of choosing to control our actions. Say to yourself, “I will.” And don’t say, “I won’t” or “I can’t” or “I’ll try.” Be positive and be determined to succeed.

      4. Align your will with God’s will; ask his help in overcoming your weaknesses. This is helpful in all circumstances but essential to breaking an addiction.

      5. Take every thought captive. A habit starts with one thought and is maintained or broken by our thoughts. For example, to break the worry habit stop every worry thought as soon as you notice it and replace it with a positive thought or image.

Here are a few thought provoking quotations on habits:

·      “Habits are to the soul what the veins and arteries are to the blood, the courses in which it moves.”  Horace Bushnell 

·      “Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.”  Augustine

·      “What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage.”  Bruce Barton

·      “Sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”  G. D. Boardman

      I hope these ideas help you change your habits and accomplish your goals.

     

     “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.”  Proverbs 23:7

      Blessings, Dottie

More Best Books Read in 2015

Last week I posted my list of the 7 best books read in 2015. Now I must add three amazing books I read in mid to late December just finishing the third one on 12-31. After Christmas I had time to read and what a joy these books are. Each of these books is as good or better than the seven I listed last week. They each informed, inspired and touched me. 

The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World

John Piper and Justin Taylor, General Editors

This is an excellent book that will teach Christians how to respond reasonably to the unbelief in today’s postmodern world. Each chapter is by a well known theologian. I was familiar with all of them except Voddie Baughan, Jr. He wrote Chapter 2 Truth and the Supremacy of Christ and this chapter was particularly helpful to me – so helpful that I wrote up a summary of the chapter and shared it with my granddaughter who is a freshman in college and will be taking a philosophy class next semester. This chapter is highlighted with Colossians 1:15-21 insights. And I discovered in my own bible the section is called The Supremacy of Christ!

Here’s my summary of Chapter 2 using many of the words of the author:

The two major competing worldviews today are Christian theism and secular humanism. How do they each answer: the question of God, the question of man, the question of truth, and the question of ethics?

The question of God:

Christian theism – God is necessary, intelligent and all powerful.

Humanism – There is no supernatural being, no god.

The question of Man:
Christian – Man was made in the image of God, a special creation.

Humanism – A single-celled organism run amuck – a glorified ape who has lost most of his hair and gained two opposable thumbs, a cosmic accident with no rhyme or reason.

The question of truth:
Christian – Truth is absolute, it is true for all people in all places at all times.

Humanism – Classic Humanism rejects truth and believes nature is a closed system. There is nothing supernatural. Postmodern Humanism rejects “naturalistic materialism” in favor of philosophical pluralism and experientialism. Postmodern Humanism rejects truth in favor of experience.

The question of ethics:

Christian – Ethics, moral rights and wrongs are absolute, morality is rooted in the eternal, unchanging character of God

Humanism – Ethics are completely cultural and negotiable. There are no absolute truths.

Humanism’s Answers to Life’s Ultimate Questions:

Who Am I? Humanism says you are an accident. You are a mistake. You are a glorified ape. You are the result of random evolutionary processes.

Why Am I Here? You are here to consume and enjoy.

What is Wrong with the World? People are insufficiently educated or insufficiently governed.

How Can What is Wrong be Made Right? The solution to our woes is more education and more government. The world is far more educated than it was during World War I. Are we seeing fewer wars? No. So is the answer in more government? Man doesn’t improve by being governed. We just find more loop holes and exploit them.

Christian Answers to Life’s Ultimate Questions:

Who Am I? You can’t figure out who you are until you decide who Jesus is. Jesus is the image of the invisible God. He is the exact representation of the Father. He is God with us, God among us. He is the Almighty, “for by him all things were created.” (Col 1: 12-21) When you believe in the supremacy of God you will know who you are. You will say

“I am the crowning glory of the creation of God.”

Why Am I Here? The ultimate purpose of all things is to bring Christ glory and honor. He is to have supremacy and preeminence in your life. The reason for my existence goes far beyond consumption and enjoyment

What is Wrong with the World?  You are hostile to the One by whom and for whom you were created. All of us are. In short, sin is what’s wrong with the world. The problem is I start with myself as the measure of all things. I judge God based on how well he carries out my agenda for the world. I want a God who is omnipotent but not sovereign. If he is both, I am at his mercy.

How Can What is Wrong be Made Right?

Here’s what Colossians 1: 21-23 NLT says:

“You were his enemies, separated from him by your evil thoughts and actions, yet now he has brought you back as his friends. He has done this through his death on the cross in his own human body. As a result he has brought you into the presence of God and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand in it firmly. Don’t drift away from the assurance you received when you heard the Good News.”

What is wrong can be made right by the substitutionary, atoning death of Christ. There is no other means by which man may be justified.

Every other religion in the world says “You need to have a religious experience, and from that moment on you need to do more good things than bad and then hope for the best when you die.”

If these two worldviews – postmodern secular humanism and Christian theism are compared – with the former you are left empty and hopeless, man is worthless, and you are left to pursue your own satisfaction and never find it. But with the latter you are precious, you have purpose and you are powerless – but it’s okay because you were purchased. In the humiliation and exaltation of Jesus Christ we find a resolution to the question, “How can what is wrong be made right?” God is both just and the justifier. The spotless, sinless Lamb of God was crushed, rejected and killed to pay a debt he did not owe on behalf of sinners who could never pay him back. We possess the answer and we are possessed by the Answer. The Answer is Christ and his supremacy in truth.

Every chapter of The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World is profound both in offering an understanding of our culture and in the need for Christians to communicate the supremacy of Christ in winsome ways. The role of the church in this is also addressed. At the end of the book is a conversation with the authors which is also insightful. This is a book that must be read and studied and reread. Beware though, it will transform you own thinking and understanding of Christ Jesus.

7 Women and the Secret of Their Greatness

By Eric Metaxas

The stories of seven amazing women are featured in this best selling book. Each chapter describes a woman who has changed the course of history.  These women lived difficult lives yet boldly and courageously changed the world. The women are Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, Hanna More, Saint Maria of Paris, Corrie ten Boom, Rosa Parks, and Mother Teresa. Hanna More played a role in the abolition of slavery in Great Britain; Saint Maria of Paris was a hero of the Greek Orthodox Church. I knew nothing about these two before reading this book. Each woman lived an amazing life of influence and integrity. The chapter on Rosa Parks gave me more appreciation of her story. The chapter on Mother Teresa inspired and challenged me. She lived a truly holy life ministering to all.  Each chapter is well researched and beautifully written with brilliant insight into these role models of greatness. I highly recommend this book.

Dreams and Visions: Is Jesus Awakening the Muslim World?

By Tom Doyle with Greg Webster

Dreams and Visions is an amazing book about the good news that Muslims are coming to Christ all across the Middle East. Jesus is appearing to Muslims in their dreams and “as always, Jesus touches people one by one.” Doyle recounts story after story of individual Muslims encountering Christ in their dreams. For example He tells of a Muslim woman surfing the internet and secretly studying the bible on line and then she has dreams of Jesus. The stories are of people he knows or who are known by his family in Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Israel, Gaza, the West Bank, and Afghanistan.

Doyle also describes gruesome Muslim culture of executioners calmly beheading friends, the cruel suppression of women and “honor killings” by a brother or father. In Syria he notes that the secret police are everywhere. The three branches of secret police not only watch the people at large but they also spy on each other.

Doyle explains Muslim thinking and beliefs and describes conversations that cut through their objections. Of course the Bible plays an essential role in completing a Muslim’s understanding of who Jesus is. Valuable information is included in the book such as a list of the statements about Jesus in the Koran and what’s missing in the Koran.

A chapter titled Intermission – The Great Awakening for Muslims, gives information about the process involved in Muslims coming to faith and the obstacles in their thinking. For example, “Islam teaches that Jesus was a great prophet, but that’s as far as it goes….Understanding Jesus as anything more than a prophet is a quantum leap most Muslims won’t even consider.” After reading from the Bible Muslims are more open to the possibility that Jesus is God.

Doyle says that Muslims have felt shame and dishonor since the time of Mohammad, but they don’t feel shame when Jesus appears to them. After a Jesus dream they say “I felt loved on a level like I have never experienced,” or “I have never felt such a surge of joy and peace.” New believers are on fire for spreading the good news. They risk their lives sharing Jesus, teaching others what they have learned and even leading a home church at night.

Here are two of his many stories – abbreviated:

Habib, a Muslim living in Bethlehem, hated Jews and resented the Wall. He was puzzled when an Israeli soldier named Danny treated him nicely when he traveled through the checkpoint. Then Habib was shot and his parents took him to the checkpoint. Danny secretly gave them his own ID telling them to go immediately to the hospital – saving his life. Habib was surprised that Danny risked this and he was also surprised Danny was applauded and given a medal for his sacrifice and commitment to peace. He was also surprised by the humane treatment he received in the hospital. He wondered why God saved him. While in the hospital he had visitations from Jesus. He found a Bible and read the New Testament. He is now a Christian and Danny is like a brother.

Josh Knight a missionary in Afghanistan had been jailed but released. Soon after that a strange Muslim approached him. Halik told him he knew God had sent him and Josh reluctantly agreed to go home with him. Once home he told Josh he and Jesus had been in his dreams seven nights in a row. His visit for tea with Halik and his wife and children turned into a three day event answering questions about Jesus. In time Halik and his wife accepted Christ and Josh and his wife mentored them. They are now strong believers and lead a house church.

A chapter on Muslims in America describes how to minister to and witness to Muslims. The concluding chapter, Extreme Discipleship, invites followers of Jesus to reach out in love to Muslims. If a Muslim moves in next door don’t call 911 – instead get to know you neighbors!

This is an inspiring, informative book that will touch and change believers so we will not fear Muslims but will reach out with love to them. It has changed my perspective on Muslims and enlarged my faith in our precious Lord.

Happy reading to all in 2016!

“I trust in you, O Lord, I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15

Blessings, Dottie

Best Books Read in 2015

Here are reviews of my top 7 books read in 2015. I start off with one true story. Also included are three books on death and dying which I discovered in a very helpful class at church on this subject. All seven of these books were thought provoking, informative, helpful, and/or inspiring. Enjoy!

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption

By Laura Hillenbrand

Unbroken is an incredible, beautifully written, and thoroughly researched book about Louis Zamperini, an Olympic hero and a World War II prisoner of war in Japan. His story is gripping and harrowing. It’s difficult to imagine surviving the starvation, tedium and terrors of being adrift at sea with two others when his airplane went down. Yet his trials had just begun as he also spent much time being abused, starved, and injured as a POW. I had not realized how brutal the Japanese were to the prisoners of war. I recalled more vividly the horror of Hitler and his concentration camps. The Japs were even more sadistic and depraved. How can anyone doubt the depravity of man?

Zamperini survives these many years of degradation and is then besieged by post traumatic stress which he handles by drinking. His marriage is troubled as a result but he is transformed after hearing Billy Graham. This ending is left out of the movie. In addition, I’m sure the book gives much more detail than could be included in a movie. So read the book even if you have seen the movie. You won’t be able to put it down.

Openness Unhindered: Further Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert On Sexual Identity and Union with Christ

By Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

Openness Unhindered is a sequel to Rosaria Butterfield’s book Confessions of an Unlikely Convert in which she details her conversion to faith in Christ after being deeply into the lesbian, feminist life style as a tenured English professor at a university. This book is different from her first book in that Butterfield goes deeper into the philosophical and theological roots of sexual identity versus the truth about a Christian’s identity in Christ. This is a book that must be read slowly to grasp the deep Biblical truths all Christians need to recognize, learn and digest.

Butterfield has profound chapters on Conversion, Identity and Repentance followed by two equally profound chapters on Sexual Orientation (Freud’s Mistake) and What Does it Mean to be Gay? Essentially she shows that our identity comes from God not from what we do.

This book will inform anyone looking for a biblical, reasoned discussion of the issues of gay sex and the church. It will help those struggling with sexual sin or guilt-ridden about the past. It will enlighten run of the mill Christians about the fact that we are all sinners. We need to repent daily and cling to our identity in Christ. Butterfield writes with warmth, wit and wisdom.

Mark: The Gospel of Passion

By Michael Card

Mark: The Gospel of Passion is an excellent and unusual commentary on the gospel of Mark. Many will recognize the author as a marvelous musician whoe music they have loved. I recall a devotional given by Card at a Gaither Praise gathering some years ago. It revealed his deep faith and knowledge. Reading Card’s book has further impressed me. He is a diligent and creative student of scripture and offers many valuable insights about the gospel of Mark.

An introduction tells us who Mark is followed by a chapter on the themes in the gospel of Mark. The rest of the book presents each chapter of Mark and Card’s commentary. This 200 page book is easy to read and insightful. I learned that Mark received his information from Peter and is simply writing everything he remembers; he doesn’t have an agenda, he just tells the story. Card gives evidence verifying the relationship between Peter and Mark. He also comments on the location of various events. For example he suggests that the Last Supper was held in Mark’s house.

In every chapter Card gives the reader a clear understanding of how Mark arranged the chapter and why. It surprised me to realize that Jesus is quite passionate in Mark’s gospel, hence the subtitle. Card documents the emotional words of Jesus. He notes also that Mark generally does not record the teachings of Jesus but rather his actions.

I like the fact that Card includes the Scripture within the book so the reader can grasp the text before he comments and without stopping to look it up. This is a book that can be read and studied over and over again.

When is it Right to Die? Suicide, Euthanasia, Suffering, Mercy

By Joni Eareckson Tada

When is it Right to Die? This book can be very helpful to parents with a handicapped child. Joni Eareckson Tada, well known author and speaker, suffered a permanent spinal injury in a diving accident when she was in her teens. This book, written more than two decades later, addresses the difficult topics of suicide and euthanasia, suffering and mercy. The book is divided into three sections. Part 1. A Time to Live, Part 2. A Time to Choose, and Part 3. A Time to Die. Joni’s story and experiences run through out the book along with stories about others who are handicapped or dying. She offers practical and specific information and help for those who are depressed, considering suicide; those who want to die.

She speaks from her Christian faith with a strong belief in God and notes that there is “an intelligence behind moral evil.” He’s the devil. He was called the tempter by Jesus. There is no truth in him and his goal is death. Pg.97. The devil tells us all kinds of lies – “No one cares.” “There’s nothing more to expect from life.” “I can’t live with this depression.” And the biggest lie of all, “Nothing awaits me after death.”

This book published in 1992 continues to help people with handicaps, people with depression and those who are nearing death. There is excellent information in here from a Christian perspective. Joni’s life is a testimony in itself to the fact that every life has a God given purpose.

Hard Choices for Loving People: CPR, Artificial Feeding, Comfort Care,and the Patient with a Life Threatening Illness

By Hank Dunn

Hard Choices - a short (75 pages), informative book by Hank Dunn, a healthcare chaplain - presents clear and concise answers to the families of those nearing death. He notes that prior generations did not have feeding tubes, ventilators or CPR – so they were not faced with the choices facing many today as they age. He describes the issues in using these, pro and con, and offers clear steps to choosing the best route in a particular situation. The final chapter The Journey to Letting Be (23 pages) is the most valuable. This can be helpful to families as well as the person who is dying. He notes, “We will die whether we give up, let go or let be.” He hopes dying patients will have “a sense of being upheld by a loving God.”

Finishing Well to the Glory of God: Strategies from a Christian Physician

By John Dunlop, MD

Finishing Well to the Glory of God is a wonderful, beautiful, outstanding book. Dr. Dunlop offers nine strategies for finishing well beginning with #1 Live Well and #2 Let Go Graciously to #8 Switching Gears from Cure to Comfort Care and #9 Rest in Jesus. Every chapter (strategy) is thought provoking and instructive. Biblical teaching runs throughout helping the reader understand the Christian perspective on each subject. Each chapter ends with a beautiful prayer and meditation. Strategy #7 Make Appropriate Use of Technology details the medical choices we face today. In addition appendix 2 offers Examples of Technology. The biblical teaching on God’s love, suffering, life and death defines the heart and soul of the Christian faith and will deepen the walk of every reader who digests these teachings. This is a valuable book to be studied, thought about, discussed, read and reread. Finishing Well is a unique and excellent guide that will help Christians live well and finish well to the glory of God.

Restoring All Things: God’s Audacious Plan to Change the World through Everyday People

By Warren Cole Smith and John Stonestreet

Restoring All Things is an outstanding and audacious book. Warren Cole Smith and John Stonestreet demonstrate through many true stories that God is actively at work redeeming, reconciling, renewing and restoring the world using the Church and resolute everyday people to do so.

The authors explain that helping must:

1. Challenge and equip people to participate actively in permanently solving their own problems.
2. Must recognize that poverty is not just a financial problem but also a spiritual problem. Compassion will address the root of the symptom.
3. Help must be personal and recognize the dignity of the person. (pg 40 paraphrase)

Using stories of everyday Christians the authors vividly demonstrate that “little is much when God is in it.” The stories are about creating jobs, capitalism for good, valuing life, women’s issues, education, justice, racial reconciliation, homosexuality, disability and euthanasia, suffering, children, and creativity. The chapter on creativity describes artists in various parts of the United States who are painting murals in public places depicting Jesus with scenes from Scripture. In addition there are stories of two men who are redeeming nihilistic rap music with Christian lyrics. Redemptive stories in films are also noted.

The book challenges Christians to notice needs they can meet right where they are. They urge readers to grapple with four questions:

1. What is good in our culture that we can promote, protect and celebrate?
2. What is missing in our culture that we can creatively contribute?
3. What is evil in our culture that we can stop?
4. What is broken in our culture that we can restore? Pg. 25-26 and Pg.197

This is a book that can inspired and motivate many to “go and do likewise.” Happy reading to all in 2016!

“I trust in you, O Lord, I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.” Psalm 31:14-15

Blessings, Dottie

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Changes at Christmas

Ten ago our church worship morphed from blended traditional to out right contemporary music and worship. We adapted as best we could most of the time. We sang the choruses, listened to the praise team, focused on the repetitive words, praising God. And an occasional hymn or hymn phrase fed our souls. "Amazing Grace..."

At Christmas we were further challenged. Contemporary worship at Christmas left even more to be desired. We experienced two Christmas seasons with no traditional Christmas carols and no classical Christmas music. Instead we were "entertained" by contemporary music.  

Adapting to seekers is a common strategy in today's churches. This seems misguided at Christmas. Many seekers grew up in church. Most everyone holds these Christmas songs, music and Scripture secreted in the inner recesses of their heart, mind and soul. These songs, music and Scripture tell the amazing story of the birth of Christ. They tell the Reason for the Season. God came to earth as a babe in a manger. He came down to us to show us who He is and to redeem us. God intersected history in person. Why are churches deleting Christmas carols that tell about this marvelous event?     

   

"O Come, All Ye Faithful . . ." O Little Town of Bethlehem. . ." "Silent Night, Holy Night. . ." Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. . ." "Joy to the World. . ." All missing!

We were unbelievers for years, but we enjoyed Christmas carols playing in stores as we shopped or on the radio as we traveled. We also watched Christmas TV programs, especially Charlie Brown's Christmas. In this well known story Charlie Brown is depressed. He visits Lucy's psychiatric booth and she recommends he get involved in a nativity play. Twists and turns in the plot include Snoopy's elaborate decoration of his dog house (commercialization of Christmas by a dog) and the other children attempting to modernize the play (messing with tradition). 

Charlie Brown searches for a Christmas tree determined to focus on the traditional side of the story. The children laugh at the scrawny tree he finds, throwing Charlie Brown back into despair about discovering the real meaning of Christmas. Linus then takes center stage and quotes the second chapter of the Gospel according to Luke, verses 8 through 14 from the King James Version.

"'And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill towards men.'"

Pastors and Churches: Take a lesson from Charlie Brown. Keep the Christmas worship traditional. Sing the carols. Read the Christmas scripture. As Linus said,

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Christmas Blessings, Dottie

How Deep is the Love of Christ?

As we approach Christmas with all its preparations and celebrations, with all the hustle and bustle, let’s keep our minds focused on Jesus and on his incarnation – God in human flesh coming into our world. Let’s be amazed by the deep love of God in Christ Jesus. “God so loved the world he gave his only Son.” John 3:16 

Paul knew the deep love of God in Christ Jesus and wrote this beautiful prayer:

“When I think of the wisdom and scope of God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.  I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” Ephesians 3:14-19 NLT

Paul refers to the wisdom and scope of God’s plan. We know the whole incredible story. Jesus, the Son of God, came into our world as a baby to live and grow up as a human being, to teach us, and show us God. He also came to plant his Church on earth. As a sinless God/Man he died to cover our iniquities. What deep love. He arose from the grave, appeared to many followers and gave us more teaching. He ascended to heaven, is seated with God and sent His Spirit to be with us and in us. And he’s coming back!

He showed us Life and he conquered death. He showed us Light and he over came the dark. Does the world make any sense without this knowledge? – yet so many are lost in darkness.

How deep is the love of Christ? Think of this, when we take one step toward him he runs to meet us. His love is deep. No matter how far away we’ve gone, no matter how much we have rebelled against him, he’s ready to forgive us and take us back. The God of the universe, Creator of all things, wants a close relationship with each of us. His love is deep.

Dear Father,

During this Christmas season help us gain a deeper understanding of You. Help us make Christ more and more at home in our hearts and in our homes. Help us know we are forgiven and that nothing can separate us from your love. We can’t reach the top or the bottom of Your love. We can’t reach the width or the length of Your love. Your love has no limits. Strengthen us with Your mighty power in our inner being. Let Your power work within us to be Your Body in the world for Your glory. In Christ’s name we pray.

Christmas Blessings, Dottie Parish

LIVING LIFE WITH PURPOSE

Q. The many problems in our world today have made me rethink my priorities in life. I’m upset by the world situation and the materialism and lack of faith today. As a Christian I want to make some changes in my life to make a difference in our world. How can one person change the world for the better? 

A. Christmas is a good time to think about how we can make “peace on earth good will to men” real in our lives. We may want to reorder our priorities and think about our purpose in life.  Are we living up to the best that we know? Are we putting first things first?  Scripture speaks in ways that are contrary to the voices of our culture. To reorder your priorities and know your purpose in life, consider the following:

1. Is the pursuit of material possessions a major goal in my life? We live in a culture that encourages and provides abundance. We need to feed and clothe our families but does our pursuit of money and things squeeze out time to be with our loved ones, time to help others, and willingness to contribute to charities? Scripture says “No one can serve God and money.” Matt. 6:24

2. Do I seek personal comfort and an easy life? Do I spend too much time in my recliner, too much time in front of the TV and little or no time helping others? Many organizations that serve the disadvantaged need volunteers. Children need mentors, the elderly and sick are lonely and need visitors. We can get out of our recliners and find a need and meet it. Our culture says, “Relax, enjoy life.” Scripture says “Love your neighbor.” Matt. 19:19

3. Am I living a truthful life? Our culture tells us don’t get involved, don’t rock the boat, ignore behavior that seems wrong. When we know about an abusive parent or a drug addicted employee do we take the path of least resistance and say nothing? Or do we take a risk and speak up? Do we “steal” supplies from our place of work, rationalizing it because “everyone’s doing it?” Are we willing to be truthful with ourselves and with others in a culture that tells us there is no such thing as Truth? Scripture says “The truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

4. Do I guard my mind?  Our culture feeds us vulgarity, violence, permissive sexuality, and negativity. The images we watch on TV and in movies can accumulate like trash in our minds. We can be selective about what we view and read. We can learn to reject unwanted thoughts; thoughts that harm us and bring us down. Scripture says, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

5. Do we have hearts full of love? The world teaches us to pursue power and control. Power makes us feel strong. Control makes us feel secure. But these are illusions. No one but God has absolute power or absolute control. Power and control are cheap substitutes for love. Love puts others needs ahead of self. Love is patient and kind. We need to let go of anger, bitterness, grudges and resentments or we will not have love in our hearts. Our culture says seek power and control. Scripture says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Soren Kierkegaard once said that life is like a large store window in which pranksters have switched the price tags. The things of greatest value are priced as worthless trinkets, while cheap trash is made to appear valuable. Bertrand Russell, an atheist said, “Unless you assume a God, the question of purpose is meaningless.” Seek God and you will find purpose and much more.

Examine your own priorities through prayer, meditation, Bible study, and worship during this Holy season. Peace on earth begins with change in one heart at a time.

“For everything, absolutely everything above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels - everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16 The Message

Blessings, Dottie