Q. I seem to have no will power. Every New Year I
decide to diet and after about ten days I’m back to eating sweets and eating
too much. I decide to exercise and the same thing happens. I’m also a worrier and don’t know how to stop
worrying. How can I change my bad habits and develop some good ones? How can
reach my dreams and goals?
A.
Webster’s dictionary defines habit as “a thing done often and hence easily, a custom, a usual way of doing things.” We develop a variety of habits or routines
throughout our life time. We may wake up at the same time every day; get ready
in the same order - shower, dress, breakfast. We may even have a routine of
always putting on our left shoe before we put on our right shoe.
Habits
or routines help us in many ways. Good habits, firmly established
take little thought. We do them almost automatically. We drive to work taking
the same route each day. We pay our bills at the same time each month. We go to
church every Sunday. These are all habits or routines we’ve established.
Habits rule us whether they
are bad or good. We are captive to our
habits. We want to change our ways and accomplish more—whether it’s losing
weight, exercising more or finishing a to-do list. So why don’t we? If you
really want to change you can, but you must set clear goals and change your
habits.
New habits begin with one thought. That’s
right ONE
THOUGHT! We think about doing something
and we decide to do it. If we’re changing a negative habit, for
example in our diet, we now have an attitude of caution and awareness about
what we eat. We also have an “I can” attitude and feel optimistic about
accomplishing our goal. The attitude change leads to an action which leads to a
repeated action and eventually we have a habit.
The key is to keep doing the
new behavior for six or eight weeks. It will take this long to establish a new
habit. A negative habit is overcome one day at a
time, the same way it began. A new habit is established one day at a time. Here
are a few tips to help you:
1. Focus on your successes and
congratulate yourself for these.
2. Expect relapses and learn from them.
Not many can change a habit instantly. When you learned to ride a bike you fell
down a few times before you could balance. The same is true for creating a new
habit. The relapses can teach you things. What thoughts or feelings triggered
your return to old habits?
3. You do have will power. Our will is a
powerful part of us, capable of choosing to control our actions. Say to
yourself, “I will.” And don’t say, “I won’t” or “I can’t” or “I’ll try.” Be
positive and be determined to succeed.
4. Align your will with God’s will; ask
his help in overcoming your weaknesses. This is helpful in all circumstances
but essential to breaking an addiction.
5. Take every thought captive. A habit
starts with one thought and is maintained or broken by our thoughts. For
example, to break the worry habit stop every worry thought as soon as you
notice it and replace it with a positive thought or image.
Here are
a few thought provoking quotations on habits:
· “Habits are to the soul what the veins
and arteries are to the blood, the courses in which it moves.” Horace Bushnell
· “Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes
necessity.” Augustine
· “What a curious phenomenon it is that you
can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little
sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual
bondage.” Bruce Barton
· “Sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a
habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” G. D. Boardman
I hope these ideas help you change your
habits and accomplish your goals.
“As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
Blessings, Dottie
