LIVING LIFE WITH PURPOSE

Q. The many problems in our world today have made me rethink my priorities in life. I’m upset by the world situation and the materialism and lack of faith today. As a Christian I want to make some changes in my life to make a difference in our world. How can one person change the world for the better? 

A. Christmas is a good time to think about how we can make “peace on earth good will to men” real in our lives. We may want to reorder our priorities and think about our purpose in life.  Are we living up to the best that we know? Are we putting first things first?  Scripture speaks in ways that are contrary to the voices of our culture. To reorder your priorities and know your purpose in life, consider the following:

1. Is the pursuit of material possessions a major goal in my life? We live in a culture that encourages and provides abundance. We need to feed and clothe our families but does our pursuit of money and things squeeze out time to be with our loved ones, time to help others, and willingness to contribute to charities? Scripture says “No one can serve God and money.” Matt. 6:24

2. Do I seek personal comfort and an easy life? Do I spend too much time in my recliner, too much time in front of the TV and little or no time helping others? Many organizations that serve the disadvantaged need volunteers. Children need mentors, the elderly and sick are lonely and need visitors. We can get out of our recliners and find a need and meet it. Our culture says, “Relax, enjoy life.” Scripture says “Love your neighbor.” Matt. 19:19

3. Am I living a truthful life? Our culture tells us don’t get involved, don’t rock the boat, ignore behavior that seems wrong. When we know about an abusive parent or a drug addicted employee do we take the path of least resistance and say nothing? Or do we take a risk and speak up? Do we “steal” supplies from our place of work, rationalizing it because “everyone’s doing it?” Are we willing to be truthful with ourselves and with others in a culture that tells us there is no such thing as Truth? Scripture says “The truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

4. Do I guard my mind?  Our culture feeds us vulgarity, violence, permissive sexuality, and negativity. The images we watch on TV and in movies can accumulate like trash in our minds. We can be selective about what we view and read. We can learn to reject unwanted thoughts; thoughts that harm us and bring us down. Scripture says, “As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

5. Do we have hearts full of love? The world teaches us to pursue power and control. Power makes us feel strong. Control makes us feel secure. But these are illusions. No one but God has absolute power or absolute control. Power and control are cheap substitutes for love. Love puts others needs ahead of self. Love is patient and kind. We need to let go of anger, bitterness, grudges and resentments or we will not have love in our hearts. Our culture says seek power and control. Scripture says “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Soren Kierkegaard once said that life is like a large store window in which pranksters have switched the price tags. The things of greatest value are priced as worthless trinkets, while cheap trash is made to appear valuable. Bertrand Russell, an atheist said, “Unless you assume a God, the question of purpose is meaningless.” Seek God and you will find purpose and much more.

Examine your own priorities through prayer, meditation, Bible study, and worship during this Holy season. Peace on earth begins with change in one heart at a time.

“For everything, absolutely everything above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels - everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16 The Message

Blessings, Dottie

The War Inside Us

Q. I’m not happy with myself, my relationships or my job. Friends and family members are negative and critical and I get my feelings hurt easily. I also get angry when they won’t listen to me or do things my way. Life seems like such a struggle. What’s my problem? What can I do to have a better life?

A. Life is a struggle for all of us at times. However, many of our struggles with others are reflections of the civil war going on inside of us. Much of our unhappiness is due to a lack of inner harmony. For example, one side of us may recognize the need to lose weight and want to do so. The other side of us rebels against this and may even feel “safer” with the extra weight. Similarly, one side of us wants to risk changing jobs. The other side is fearful and holds us back. You can’t control other people but you can change your thinking and your decisions. You can stop the inner war. Ask yourself these questions:

• What is my purpose in life? What are my beliefs and values? Your life will feel aimless or unhappy until you know your purpose. And you will be at war with yourself unless your way of life is consistent with your beliefs and values. Ask God to reveal his purpose for your life.

• Where do I want to be five years from now? If you know your goals in life but are taking no steps toward them you will feel stuck or disappointed with yourself. Prayerfully develop a plan for your life.

 

• What am I avoiding? We need to face the things that disturb us in order to overcome them. Many of us have inner pain we avoid. Facing it feels risky, but the results are freeing. Write out your hurt and pain or tell a trusted friend or counselor.

         

• Who do I need to forgive? Bitterness harms us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When we hold a grudge we allow ourselves to be controlled by the past and by someone else. We also need to forgive ourselves and make amends to those we have hurt or wronged. Ask God to forgive you, too. He will welcome your confession.

 

• What do I lie about? Our pretenses take enormous energy and rob us of our freedom. Telling the truth and revealing ourselves takes courage. We need to accept ourselves as we are and be real. Write about telling the truth and vow before God not to lie or pretend again.

•Do I spend time on the things that are really important? The story is told of a grim, unhappy librarian on a college campus. A colleague, who saw her walking across campus happy and smiling, said "I've never seen you so happy." She replied, "I'm ecstatic. Its spring break and the students have left, so I've been able to get all the books back in the library!"

The librarian had a misperception about her job. She thought her job was to keep the books in the library rather than to loan them out. How often do we focus all our attention on the details of living and forget to spend time enjoying our families and friends and sharing our love with them?

         

•Where does God fit into my life? The Psalmist says, “My soul is restless until it rests in you.” Knowing God brings inner peace. Our “warring” sides find unity in the divine. Seek Him and you will find Him.

         

Your answers to the above questions will help you make your life more meaningful and satisfying. As you make changes pay attention to the part of yourself that holds back or sabotages your efforts. Listen to that part of yourself but don’t let it stop you. Talk back reassuringly to the needy, fearful self. Ask God for courage, too.

If you don’t make progress on your own find a Christian pastor or counselor who will mentor you. You might also read Self Talk, Soul Talk by Jennifer Rothchild, or Lord, I Want to Be Whole by Stormie Omartian.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

Blessings, Dottie

Parent Advice: The Value of Faith

Q.  My husband and I are appalled by the materialism and greed in our culture. We’ve lost close relatives recently and this has made us wonder about the purpose of life. Both of us are searching spiritually. We’re attending a church and taking our children with us. Will this help our children grow up to be less self centered and less materialistic?  Does faith affect morality?

A. You are not alone in your concerns about our culture or in your search for spiritual meaning. Research evidence shows that religious faith helps children. Stanford psychologist William Damon says children are “openly receptive to spiritual ideas” and long for a faith that will provide them with a mission in life. Children thrive with a faith which teaches concerns larger than self. Such a faith enables children to weather difficult and even traumatic life events.

Faith can help keep children and teens out of trouble.  Researchers have studied not just what causes crime but what predicts virtue.  A “spiritual sense” is one of the factors predicting moral behavior in children. The National Commission on Children agrees with these findings. They state “through participation in a religious community - in communal worship, religious education, and social action programs - children learn to assimilate the values of their faith. For many children, religion is a major force in their moral development; for some it is the chief determinant of moral behavior.”

         

Vanderbilt University criminologist Byron Johnson found that most delinquent acts were by juveniles who had little religious commitment. Church going young people were rarely delinquent. Similarly, cities with high church-going rates are usually cities with low crime rates.

How much does faith determine morality? Obviously there are many good people with no faith and many people of faith who are immoral but over all people of faith are more honest and law abiding. They also are more compassionate.

Researchers have found a clear connection between faith and generosity. A Gallup Survey showed that Americans who never attended church gave away 1.1 percent of their incomes while weekly church goers were two and a half times as generous. Twenty-four percent of the population gave 48 percent of all charitable contributions. Those who were spiritually committed also volunteered their time to help the poor, sick or elderly more often than those who declared no faith. 

         

Active involvement in your faith supports the values we all would like to see grow in our culture such as:

·      Nurture of families and family life.

·      Close relationships across generation lines; a community of people who celebrate the significant moments of life with you and miss you when you’re gone.

·      Children learning empathy, self discipline, honesty, generosity, caring for others.

·      Children and adults living the virtues of kindness, faithfulness and love.

·      A spiritual understanding that God cares for us and is with us. 

         

You’re on the right track in becoming active in a church. According to the researchers you and your family will be happier and healthier than your unchurched neighbors. More importantly, you will find peace of mind and meaning and purpose to life as you continue to seek God.

“I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.” John 12:46

Blessings, Dottie

Investing Time

Here are more thoughts about time. There are three ways to spend the present. We can waste it, spend it or invest it. Time wasters include worry, fear, sleeping more than needed and busyness, accomplishing little. We also waste time on petty anger, procrastination, indecision, complaints and pity. These confuse us and keep us from accomplishing our dreams. They also separate us from God.

Spending time might be described as merely existing. Our life has no purpose or direction. We simply do what has to be done, no more. We sleep, work, eat and little more. Our life is dull and routine.

We invest our time when we know our life has purpose and meaning beyond our own self-interest. We invest our time when we do some thing that touches the lives of those around us, when we offer a smile, a helping hand, or a kind word. We invest our time when we help a worthy cause.

We waste some time. We spend some time aimlessly. We’re human. When we focus on God and have purpose we minimize time wasters and we live with zest. We do what has to be done with speed and joy in order to have time to invest in our purpose.

To make changes this year lean on God and live in the present. Make conscious choices about your priorities in life and take small steps each day to pursue your dreams. Someone has said “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - that’s why it’s called the present.” Enjoy the gifts of God given each day to us.

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines is steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Blessings, Dottie