STAYING YOUNG AT HEART

Q. My husband and I are both retired and starting to feel our age. Our eyesight and hearing aren’t as good as they used to be and we tire more quickly. We have aches and pains but so far our doctor has found nothing major wrong. Some times we feel life is almost over. Some times we’re bored and lonely. We don’t want to give up on life as we know this can affect us physically as well as mentally. What can we do to stay young at heart.

A. Physical aging is inevitable for all of us but a positive attitude does slow down this process and can make our aging years more enjoyable. In addition to keeping our bodies healthy with proper diet, exercise and medical care, we need to learn how to stay young at heart. Here are ten ideas that can help us stay young.

1. Don’t let your age get in the way of your activities. Life is for living. Do the things you enjoy. We live in an age when even the physically handicapped can stay involved in many activities.

2. Keep on learning. Our minds and hearts stay young when we’re actively engaged in something of interest to us. Join an adult education class, an art class, an interest group or a Bible class. 

3. Laugh and have fun. Look for humor in the daily events of life. Play games with friends, children or grandchildren. Spend time with a four year old and laugh every time they laugh.

4. Volunteer to help someone in need. We all have something to contribute. We can visit a shut in. We can help a single parent with repairs or errands or baby-sitting.  We can volunteer at a hospital or a food pantry. When we contribute our time, our attention and our abilities to others we help ourselves as well as our community. When we give of ourselves we feel young at heart. 

5. Make your relationships a high priority. Reach out to family members and stay connected. Plan reunions with siblings, cousins, and other relatives.  E-mail makes it possible to keep in touch with family and friends across long distances. 

6. Take care of unfinished business. Let go of grudges or resentments. Forgive those who have hurt you and ask those you have hurt to forgive you. Hanging onto resentment hurts us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If you have trouble letting go of past hurts or traumas get help from a counselor or pastor. 

7. Expect change and learn to accept it. The longer we live the more things will change, especially in this day and age. Our tendency is to resist change even when it’s a change for the better. Change stretches us and can keep us young if we learn from it or view it positively.

8. Be open to making new friends. Join church groups or interest groups where this can happen. As we grow older we will lose many friends as a result of moves or death. Loneliness and isolation are primary causes of depression and illness among the elderly. We need to stay connected with others.

9. Learn to just be. Most of our life we’re busy doing. We think we’re only valuable for what we do; for what we contribute. In our later years we have the luxury of relaxing. It’s O.K. to just be. You are valuable as a person just for who you are.

10. Deepen your relationship with God. Faith is a miracle cure for many ills! You now have time for prayer, Bible study and worship. God will comfort you in times of despair and will bring joy to your heart as well.

“Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:6 NLT

Blessings, Dottie

Psalm 119 Meditations and Prayers Relating to the Law of God

Qoph 

This is the nineteenth section of Psalm 119 – the longest chapter and the longest Psalm in the Bible. There are 8 different terms referring to Scripture used through out. These are: law, testimonies, precepts, statutes, commandments, judgments, word and ordinances. I journal thorough each verse.

Qoph. 

¹⁴⁵ I cried with all my heart; answer me, O Lord!
I will observe Your statutes.

Father, I cry with all my heart; please answer me, Lord!

I’ll listen to you and do whatever you say.

¹⁴⁶ I cried to You; save me
And I shall keep Your testimonies.

Save, me, Lord; I cry to you,

Save me and I will follow you all my days.

¹⁴⁷ I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I wait for Your words.

Early in the morning I cry to you for help;

I wait for your loving words.

¹⁴⁸ My eyes anticipate the night watches,
That I may meditate on Your word.

I lie awake at night praying to you,

And meditating on your word.

¹⁴⁹ Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness;
Revive me, O Lord, according to Your ordinances.

Hear my cry, Lord, with your holy love and grace;

Revive and renew me, Lord, with your holy word.

¹⁵⁰ Those who follow after wickedness draw near;
They are far from Your law.

Many who chase after wickedness invade my world;

They mock you and your law.

¹⁵¹ You are near, O Lord,
And all Your commandments are truth.

Lord, I know you are near,

And I know you and your words are the Truth.

¹⁵² Of old I have known from Your testimonies
That You have founded them forever.

I have known your word from my youth,

Your word is eternal and forever.

Blessings, Dottie

PSYCH INFO: RECOVERY FROM GRIEF

Q. The sudden death of a friend of mine has devastated me and many others. I go from anger, to depression to feeling numb. I can’t eat or sleep and I keep thinking about the violence done to her. I’m confused as to why this happened. The world no longer seems rational or safe. What can I do to get back to normal?

A. The death of a loved one is more difficult to accept when it happens to someone in the prime of life and when it is due to a violent act on the part of another person. There was no illness, no time to prepare for the loss of your friend and it is difficult to understand how anyone could or would deliberately kill her.

        

Your anger, shock and grief are normal reactions to this loss. A range of emotions and reactions accompany loss - anger, guilt, sadness, fear, as wells as difficulty eating, sleeping and concentrating. Confusion about the meaning of life also is common. We wonder, why would God allow this? The reality of death and our own vulnerability is something we can no longer deny.

        

Grieving is a process and it takes time. You will have days in which sadness and tears overwhelm you. You will have days in which you push back your feelings about it and feel numb. The numb periods are necessary in order to continue to function, do your job, take care of family needs and get some relief from the inner pain. It is essential though that you allow yourself to grieve. Choose times when you can let your feelings out. Talk over your feelings with a friend and cry on their shoulder. No one should grieve alone. 

        

You may experience regrets and guilt feelings about your friendship - wishing you had been more helpful or supportive. These are normal reactions to grief. Talk or write out these feelings of grief. Focus on happy memories also, not just on your regrets.

        

You may replay in your mind the events surrounding her death or have nightmares about this. Your heart and soul are trying to face the reality of what has happened. Talk and write about your most fearful thoughts. During the day time when you need to work, use thought stopping to turn off the fearful thoughts or images. Thought stopping involves talking back to the thoughts with a comforting thought (such as “God is my refuge and strength”) or replacing a negative image with a positive one. There are a number of other things you can do:

 If you are unable to eat or sleep, are depressed and unable to work, medication and counseling can help you function. Counseling is essential if extreme symptoms continue very long. 

Attend a grief support group. Grief Share, an excellent group, is available at many churches.

Read books on grief. A few if these are: Where Is God When It Hurts? by Philip Yancey, Recovering from the Losses of Life by H. Norman Wright, When Life Changed Forever by Rick Taylor, Roses in December by Marilyn Heavilin, Confessions of a Grieving Christian by Zig Ziglar, Splashes of Joy in the Cesspools of Life by Barbara Johnson and Dawn of Hope by Eldyn Simons. 

 Hang onto your faith. Turn to God through prayer, scripture and your church for help and support. Faith gives us hope and comfort in difficult times. 

“You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalm 32:7

Blessings, Dottie

Overcoming the Winter Doldrums

Q. I dread winter. I hate driving to work in the dark and driving home in the dark. I hate being cooped up inside most evenings and weekends because it’s too cold or snowy or icy to go out. I become bored and depressed every year around the first of January. 

       

My husband and children don’t seem to mind being cooped up. They stretch out in front of the TV for entire weekends.  We can’t move to a warmer climate because our jobs and families are here. What can I do to make the winter bearable for me?

A. For most of us there is a post-holiday let down that often coincides with very wintry weather. The cold, dark days of winter are difficult for most of us. There are a number of things you can do that will help you find some enjoyment in the winter months.

1. Spend a week thinking about what you do like or enjoy about winter. Make a list and add to it as you think of things. For instance, my list would include taking brisk walks, time to relax and do nothing, the warmth of a fire in the fireplace, and the beauty of new fallen snow.

2. Once you have made your list keep it where you will see it often and focus your mind on these things whenever a negative thought about the winter creeps in and begins to depress you. Some of your depression regarding winter is due to your negative thinking about it.

       

3. What are your goals in life? What is your purpose? If you know the answers to these questions you can find things to do to move you toward your goals - even in the winter.

       

4. Use the winter months to accomplish some of the things you usually put off doing. Clean closets, put pictures in photo albums, write letters, cook special meals, play with your children letting them suggest the game or activity, invite friends over for soup and sandwiches.

       

5. Think of fun things you can do at home with your husband or family. Rent a funny movie, play board games or card games, make taffy or fudge, cuddle with your husband while he watches football.

6. Don’t be stuck in the house every evening and all weekend even if your husband and family like it that way. Find places to go. There are inexpensive or free activities many places. You can take a class that interests you. You can visit a museum. You can volunteer to help someone in need. You can be active in a church.

7. Find some alone activities that you enjoy and do them when the rest of the family is lounging by the TV. You can knit, crochet or work on crafts. You can read a good book. You can exercise indoors.

       

8. Learn to enjoy winter sports. Ice skating, sledding and skiing are available during some of our winters. When it snows, get out and build a snowman in your yard!

       

9. Do something different. This is one of the best ways to overcome boredom and depression. It sounds too simple to be true but it works. We tend to be stuck in routines of behavior that are repetitious and not spontaneous. When we do something different we step out of our rut. 

       

I hope these ideas will help you enjoy your winter. 

“Consider it all joy, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1:2-3

Blessings, Dottie