In order to keep love growing in a marriage it’s necessary to be open and
vulnerable to the other person. In other words, even though you’re uncomfortable
showing your feelings this is what you must begin doing. This is especially
difficult for men who were taught to appear tough and in control all the time. All
of us learn to hide behind protective walls so we won’t be hurt. However, these
walls keep us from connecting with each other. It’s only as we let the walls
down that we are truly able to love and be intimate.
We are stronger now than we were when we put up the walls so we can
survive if we are hurt. The alternative of not opening up is living life in
isolation from others. Remember how you felt when you were courting your
partner? To bring back that same excitement, do some of the same things you
eagerly did then. You took risks then in reaching out to your love.
Here is a list of things you can do that will help you connect
with your partner in a loving way:
•Let your
eyes light up when your partner walks in the room.
•Look into
your partner’s eyes.
•Listen to
your partner, really listen.
•Acknowledge
your partner’s feelings. “That must
really hurt.”
•Ask for
forgiveness for specific things you’ve done that have hurt your partner.
•Hold hands
in public and in private.
•Give hugs
and say “I love you.”
•Give
compliments. “You look nice today.”
•Let your
partner know you appreciate him or her. “I appreciate the time and effort you
put into cooking dinner tonight.”
•Cuddle
while watching TV.
•Be
romantic while making love.
•Remind
your partner of specific times in the past when you were close. Talk about these times.
Work at your marriage as you work at your job. It's worth the effort and time this takes. No one cuddles up to a job. The marriage remains when the job is over.
“My lover is mine and I am his. Song of Songs 2:16 NIV
Blessings, Dottie
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