Psych Info: THINKING STYLES

Q. My sister and I are total opposites yet we grew up in the same family. How can this be? When we get together it’s like trying to mix oil and water. I like to plan a head while she’s impulsive and spontaneous. I’m organized and she’s messy and disorganized. She says whatever she thinks while I’m cautious and quiet. She seems to have no sense about life - spending money she doesn’t have and never planning for the future.  

I love my sister and wish I understood her. Why are we so different? How can we learn to get along?

A. You and your sister have opposite thinking styles. Researchers in the 1970s discovered that the two sides of the brain have separate and distinct functions. The left side of the brain is where logical thinking, reasoning and organizing occurs. The right side of the brain is where emotions, visual images, and dreams take place. A left brained person is critical, rational, logical, disciplined, a thinker. A right brained person is a dreamer, emotional, free spirited, people oriented. 

   

In other words, we think in two very different ways. We think in words but we also think in pictures; we think verbally and non-verbally. The more we become aware of the two ways in which we think the more access we will have to both sides of our brain.

   

Those who are left brained and logical can develop the more neglected side their brain by being aware of the images in their minds. For example, if I ask you to describe your childhood home you will answer me in words but as you do so you will have a visual picture in your mind. We have visual images in our minds more often then most of us realize. Using this imaging ability consciously can help develop the creative side of our brain.

         

When you have difficulty getting a point across to your sister, use a word picture as this will speak to both sides of her brain at once. Tell her for example, “your financial situation reminds me of a boat with a hole in it. I’m afraid you’ll go down with the boat.”

Doug Hall, author of Jump Start Your Business Brain, says that logical left brained individuals are easier to work with on creative projects than radically right brained people. Left brained people can easily grasp the need to stretch their brains and become more creative. In contrast, right brained individuals can’t see their need to stretch and be more logical and practical. In other words it’s easier to get a left brained person to discover their right brain than it is to get a right brained person to find their logical left brain. 

   

Each brain style has its own strengths and weaknesses. As a left brained person your practical, cautious nature may keep you in a routine life style, preventing you from growing. You can make a logical decision to learn from your sister how to be more spontaneous, creative and free spirited in the way you approach life. 

   

It’s doubtful you can change your sister though your understanding of her may help you be less polarized. Show her this article and tell her your concerns about her impractical ways. If she’s interested in stretching her less developed left brain she can learn from you and she can also develop the left side of her brain by reading, keeping a journal and working cross word puzzles. 

The two of you can learn to work as a team with your sister thinking up the creative ideas and you bringing them down to practical reality. All this takes is appreciating and using your differences rather than fighting about them.

God loves variety. He created each person uniquely. We both grow when we understand our differences.

“As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man.”  Proverbs 27:17

Blessings, Dottie