Journaling Psalm 51 Part 3

Psalm 51 is David’s repentance for his many sins including adultery and murder. He was a man after God’s own heart yet a sinner – saved by grace. Join me on this solemn and blessed journey of prayer, confession and repentance.

Psalm 51:7-9 NLT

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;

wash me and I will be whiter than snow.

Oh, give me back my joy again;

you have broken me – now let me rejoice.

Don’t keep looking at my sins.

Remove the stain of my guilt.

Dear Father,

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow.

You washed the disciples’ feet to show us we are to serve others and be humble, not puffed up. I’ve also been washed by baptism and with tears of repentance. But only you can wash me whiter than snow and cover all my black spots and you did this with your blood. I thank you and praise you for this. What an awesome God you are. 

Father,

Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me – now let me rejoice.

You “broke” me as I surrendered to your call and went out on a limb – or jumped off a cliff to do what seemed to be your will for me. You have given me back my joy at a number of crisis or change points over the years. The change in my attitudes is amazing. I’m calmer, more at peace, more confident (in you), kinder and I see my sins quickly and repent and make amends. (I hope this is true, I’m a work in progress, I know.) Now I am rejoicing. Hold me close in your love, your joy and your peace.

Father, 

Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt.

I am tired of looking at my sins but I know it helps me grow closer to you and that you are gently showing me my sins. Last night was very difficult as I got angry and hurt when M was quiet, distant and didn’t hear me. I struggled and prayed and didn’t want to sin in my anger. I couldn’t let it go so I asked to talk with M. This helped some but we talked again later and I spoke the truth in love to M. Forgive the irrational anger that I did express. I know I need to work out all this inner pain. I give it all to you and know you will help both M and I through this struggle. M in fact, felt we had a break through last night. Another sin I realized yesterday helped me be a kinder person. I was going to eat all the left over popcorn before M got back with the mail – until I realized how self-centered this was and I fixed him a bowl. So I guess I’ll ask you to keep showing me my sins I’m not aware of and help me change. Show me how to walk in your light, even when raw from inner pain.

Blessings, Dottie

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.