Thursday, December 26, 2013

Deleting Worship?

No Worship this Sunday? 
Should worship be deleted the last Sunday of the year? Should worship be cancelled because of busy Christmas schedules? Many churches last year deleted worship on the last weekend of the year. There are arguments in support of this. 

Christmas is such a busy season. Shopping, planning, cooking, parties and special music events lead up to Christmas. The staff works hard and long through out the holidays. Church members, especially those who volunteer, are tired and need time off. Everyone needs a rest, so why not cancel church?

Christians in countries where the church is persecuted would wonder about this. Christians in China, India, Pakistan or Saudi Arabia risk their lives to worship. They would not understand our churches canceling worship. Why would a church able to worship in freedom delete worship? Why would they do this on one of the most significant Holy days? Does this keep Christ in Christmas? 

Yet in recent years churches in the USA have cancelled church in order to rest from busy holiday events and preparations and to enjoy lavish family gatherings. In its place they encourage family worship at home, a poor substitute.

Should the secular, economy boosting aspects of Christmas take precedence over the true and holy meaning of the day?  

Sunday is a day of rest set aside to gather as a church. The Sabbath is to be kept Holy. We must spend time in worship as a church every Sunday. To cancel this is unthinkable.

What about "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy?" (Ex. 20:8) What about "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing?" (Heb. 10:25a)

What about the New Year? From 2006 on some churches virtually did away with worship on the last Sunday of the year. The end of the year and the beginning of a new year is a special time to reflect on the past and make resolutions for the future. It's a time to worship our Holy God with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  

Let's find a church that is open and worship Christ the Lord this Sunday. 

Blessings, Dottie

This post originally appeared last year on Faithnotes.



Friday, December 20, 2013

Christmas Alone

Q.  I’m a widow with two grown children and several grandchildren. My daughter and her husband and children in California have always come home for Christmas. This year they can’t come. My son lives only a few hours away but they’re going to her family this year. At age seventy-two I’m faced with spending Christmas alone for the first time in my life. I’m quite upset about this. How can I get through the day alone?

Christmas alone. Many people are alone and lonely at Christmas. Often, the older generation is left out of Christmas plans as much attention focuses on making Christmas happy for children. Family mobility also contributes to this - as in your case. Most of us find it difficult to be separated from our loved ones on Christmas. There are a number of things you can do to make this Christmas bearable or perhaps, even enjoyable. Choose the ones that appeal to you. Some of these may feel risky but do them anyway.

1. Plan your day ahead of time. Face the fact that it will be difficult to spend Christmas alone, but plan ways to make the best of it. Don’t wait until Christmas morning to decide how you will spend your day.
         
2. Tell friends and neighbors that you will be alone at Christmas. Perhaps someone will invite you to join them. Or you may find someone else who is going to be spending Christmas alone and then the two of you can spend the day together.
                   
3. Volunteer to help on Christmas Day. Hospitals, nursing or retirement homes and shelters for the homeless have only skeleton crews working. They welcome volunteers on Christmas Day. Your help might even allow someone else to be with their family. Helping others can help you forget your loneliness. 
         
4. Do some of the things you enjoy the most on Christmas day. Enjoy your leisure time alone with a bubble bath, a good book or a special movie. Plan a special Christmas dinner of your favorite foods even if you’re eating alone. 
         
5. Invite someone over for Christmas who would otherwise be alone. Perhaps there are foreign students on a local campus with no place to go or an elderly person who could leave a nursing home but has no relatives here.
         
6. Plan a trip so you won’t be alone on Christmas. Visit a resort you’ve always wanted to visit or look up an old friend, a cousin or a niece or a nephew.
         
7. Keep your thoughts positive. Imagine your grandchildren and children opening the presents you’ve sent them. Talk with them by phone to wish them a Merry Christmas and to share their happiness.
         
8. Celebrate Christmas at your church. If you don’t have a church, find one. Attend all the special Christmas events throughout the holiday season. Many churches have special Christmas Eve candlelight services. Let your church be your family this year.

9. Trust in God and think about the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus came as a babe, lived with us, died for us and now his Spirit is with us. He is with us in our loneliness.

Note to Readers: The elderly in our midst need to be noticed, appreciated and loved at Christmas. They may not have many more Christmases with us. Include them in your Christmas plans.

Even to your old age and gray hairs, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”  Isaiah 46:4

Christmas Blessings, Dottie


This post originally appeared on Taber's Truths


Friday, December 13, 2013

A Charlie Brown Christmas



Changes at Christmas
Eight or nine years ago our church worship morphed from blended traditional to out right contemporary music and worship. We adapted as best we could most of the time. We sang the choruses, listened to the praise team, focused on the repetitive words, praising God. And an occasional hymn or hymn phrase fed our souls. "Amazing Grace..."

This was different and more difficult at Christmas. Contemporary worship at Christmas left even more to be desired. We experienced two Christmas seasons with no traditional Christmas carols and no classical Christmas music. Instead we were "entertained" by contemporary music.  

Adapting to seekers is a common strategy in today's churches. This seems misguided at Christmas. Many seekers grew up in church. Most everyone holds these Christmas songs, music and Scripture secreted in the inner recesses of their heart, mind and soul. These songs, music and Scripture tell the amazing story of the birth of Christ. They tell the Reason for the season. God came to earth as a babe in a manger. He came down to us to show us who He is and to redeem us. God intersected history in person. Why are churches deleting Christmas carols that tell about this marvelous event?     
   
"O Come, All Ye Faithful . . ." O Little Town of Bethlehem. . ." "Silent Night, Holy Night. . ." Hark! The Herald Angels Sing. . ." "Joy to the World. . ." All missing!

We were unbelievers for years, but we enjoyed Christmas carols playing in stores as we shopped or on the radio as we traveled. We also watched Christmas TV programs, especially Charlie Brown's Christmas. In this well known story Charlie Brown is depressed. He visits Lucy's psychiatric booth and she recommends he get involved in a nativity play. Twists and turns in the plot include Snoopy's elaborate decoration of his dog house (commercialization of Christmas by a dog) and the other children attempting to modernize the play (messing with tradition). 


Charlie Brown searches for a Christmas tree determined to focus on the traditional side of the story. The children laugh at the scrawny tree he finds, throwing Charlie Brown back into despair about discovering the real meaning of Christmas. Linus then takes center stage and quotes the second chapter of the Gospel according to Luke, verses 8 through 14 from the King James Version.

"'And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and goodwill towards men.'"

Pastors and Churches: Take a lesson from Charlie Brown. Keep the Christmas worship traditional. Sing the carols. Read the Christmas scripture. As Linus said,

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Christmas Blessings, Dottie

 



Sunday, December 8, 2013

Meaningful Christmas Gifts



Q.  My children are adults and have children of their own. With so many in our family - a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law plus grandchildren - the number of gifts we buy has multiplied. At the same time we have less need for things. I want Christmas to be about the birth of Christ and a time of family connection rather than about material things. How can we make gift giving more meaningful?
 
It’s difficult to keep Christmas giving meaningful when our society has commercialized it so. To do so will require thoughtful planning and determination. 

Talk over with the adults in your family your thoughts are about Christmas. If they’re receptive to your ideas then all of you can work out a plan to make your Christmas especially meaningful. If some are not receptive to this you can still make your own gifts meaningful. One significant way to make Christmas meaningful is to give of ourselves to those in need. If all the adults agree, you can adopt a needy family and give them Christmas. Enlist the children in purchasing for the children in the other family. This will help your grandchildren learn to care about others and learn that not everyone is well off.
         
Christmas gifts that are most meaningful are those that show our love. Here are some ideas for “love gifts.”

1.  Write a note expressing your love and caring for each family member. Be specific about what you like and love about this person; tell them what they mean to you.  This is a gift that costs no money yet it may mean more than a very expensive item.

2. Give your time and service. A gift certificate to baby sit your grandchild while the parents go out will mean a great deal and will give you a bonding time in the future with your grandchildren. Be creative and think of other gifts of service you might offer. These could include helping clean a garage, giving back rubs, reading to or tutoring a child. 
         
3. Give an outing. A gift certificate for an outing is a gift that is enjoyed on Christmas as well as later. Create your own certificates entitling your grandson or granddaughter to a meal out, an over night visit or a trip to a museum. The possibilities are endless. Don’t forget the adults. Give an evening out for all the adults with you picking up the tab for the dinner and a movie or play. 
         
4. Let an adult son or daughter know of a meaningful gift they can give you. Perhaps you would like a tour of their work place and lunch afterwards.
         
5. Give something you’ve made. Handmade gifts have special meaning. The time and effort they take convey caring. Pay attention to the person's favorite colors and their interests to make this especially meaningful.
         
6. Look for unique gifts that will match the person's interests. This conveys the fact that you really know and understand the person to whom you’re giving. It shows you have made a real effort to please him or her with your gift.

7. Enjoy the gifts, but focus on the true meaning of Christmas. Include a manger scene in your decorations. Worshiping each Advent Sunday and Christmas Eve will make your Christmas meaningful in an eternal way. When the family gathers on Christmas Day read the Christmas Scripture together. (Last week I posted a family script for this.)
         
Mother Teresa once said, “It’s not how much you do but how much love you put into what you are doing, that matters.” I hope these ideas will make your Christmas more meaningful for you and your family.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father.” James 1:17

Blessings, Dottie


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Christmas Story for Families



Q.  Our families will be with us on Christmas day including a number of children. My wife and I want to recognize the birth of Christ in addition to our usual gift exchange and feast. Any ideas?

A. The best idea I can think of is to read the Christmas Scripture. We have done this with our family, including the children in the reading. We assigned roles to a Narrator, Angels, the Prophet, Shepherds, the Magi, Priests and Teachers and Herod. Children enjoy this; learn from this and like being involved. Our NIV script is below.

The Birth of Christ as told in the Bible

Matthew 1:18-24
This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said,

ANGEL:  "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:

PROPHET: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us."

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Luke 2: 1-10                                                                                                                                
In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them,

ANGEL: "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
                                                                                                                                       
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
                                                                                                                                        
ANGELS: "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another,

SHEPHERDS: "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen which were just as they had been told.

Matthew 2:1-12                                                                                                                              
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked,

MAGI: "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

 When King Herod heard this he was disturbed, and all Jerusalem with him. When he had called together all the people's chief priests and teachers of the law, he asked them where the Christ was to be born.

PRIESTS & TEACHERS: "In Bethlehem in Judea," they replied, "for this is what the prophet has written: " 'But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the shepherd of my people Israel.'”

Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said,

HEROD: "Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him."

 After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold and of incense and of myrrh. And having been warned in a dream not to go back to Herod, they returned to their country by another route.

Christmas Blessings, Dottie


Friday, November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving: A Celebration!

Celebrate Thanksgiving!
Life is not easy and often life is extremely difficult. However, even in the best of times many of us dwell on the negative side of things and fail to notice the positive side.  We take many of life’s joys and pleasures for granted. We fail to notice the positive moments paralleling our negative ones.
   
Luci Swindoll in her book You Bring The Confetti, God Brings The Joy, challenges us to celebrate life. She literally means we should throw a party at every opportunity and celebrate. She views life as “a festival to be enjoyed rather than a drudgery to be endured.” 
   
She tells of having to leave her office on an errand on a dreary day when she was out of sorts. She asked God to send her a “perk,” something to cheer her up.  Just then she turned a corner and saw in the cab of a pickup truck, two clowns decked out in red wigs and painted faces. They smiled toothless smiles at her as she drove by. All day long this incident lifted her spirits as she thought about it.
   
She suggests that life is full of unrecognized “perks” ready to bring us joy. But we need to notice them and celebrate them, not take them for granted or miss them.
   
Here are some ways this Thanksgiving we can celebrate and be optimistic:
Celebrate Now
Learn to live in the present and savor each moment. We must learn to notice some of the enjoyable experiences today brings. We can’t do this if we’re pessimistic. We can’t do this if we’re dwelling on regrets or resentments in the past or if we’re worrying about the future. We must be fully present in the now. Even in the midst of trouble we can notice the laughter of a child or the smile of a friend.
   
Celebrate Friends and Family
Think of those who have loved you and helped you throughout your life. Think of the people who have influenced you and made a difference in your life. Reach out to the people currently in your life and let them know you appreciate them. Celebrate them!  Remember, no one is perfect, think of the positive qualities of the people in your life. 
   
Celebrate Accomplishments
Most of us dwell on our failures and mistakes. We forget the successes big and small that we’ve had. Make a list of the things you’ve accomplished in life. Remember finding jobs, and job promotions. Remember paying off debts, learning a new skill, climbing a mountain. Remember difficult challenges you’ve met, illnesses you’ve survived. Remember the love you've given to others. The list can be endless. 
   
Celebrate Beauty
There is amazing beauty in a glorious sunset, in a starlit sky, in a rose garden or in a single rose. Beauty is also found in the words of a song or poem that inspires and in music that lifts our heart and soul. There is beauty in every day. We must not take it for granted.

Celebrate God
When we count our blessings we feel like celebrating. When we’re grateful for the blessings in our life, our troubles are minimized. When we notice God’s kindness and faithfulness, all else seems less important. Luci Swindoll says, “Let’s throw a party in celebration of the God who brings us joy!” That’s the way our Thanksgiving holiday began and that’s what it’s all about. Let’s celebrate Thanksgiving!

“Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100

Blessings, Dottie

This didn't go out prior to Thanksgiving! I hope readers enjoy it and give thanks, count your blessings through all the holidays.


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Best Books About Church


Prior to writing and while writing my book, Changing Churches, I read over forty books about the church. Today I want to share several of the books that best address the issues in the church today. I highly recommend each of these books.

Christless Christianity: The Alternative Gospel of the American Church by Michael Horton is a wake-up call to the Christian church. Horton, a theologian and author cites the many ways the Church has lost its way; is virtually Christless. He says, “I think the church in America today is so obsessed with being practical, relevant, helpful, successful and perhaps even well-liked that it nearly mirrors the world itself.” This book expanded my knowledge and understanding of the issues facing the church today—especially the creeping syncretism (combining contradictory beliefs), false teaching and misguided changes. This is a must read for all concerned Christians.

Nine Marks of a Healthy Church by Mark Dever, is another excellent book about the church today. Dever, pastor of Capital Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C., describes nine essential qualities missing in many churches today and necessary for the health of the church. Christians who are not growing and are not bothered about this fact should disturb us. Dever also describes social ills replacing sin in our concerns. He says, “Today, horizontal problems – problems between people – often obscure the fundamental vertical problem between us and God.” This is a book well worth reading and studying by Christian leaders and lay persons. 

Vintage Church: Timeless Truths and Timely Methods by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshears is another excellent book clearly describing what the church is and should be. Jesus Christ as the head of the church is exalted throughout. Chapter titles include: What is A Christian Church, Who is Supposed to Lead a Church? Why is Preaching Important? How Can a Church be Unified? How Can a Church Utilize Technology? How Could the Church Transform the World? In the chapter on church unity a detailed discussion of what divides the church including: heretics, pride, legalism, distrust, traditionalism, to little or too much organization, founder dysfunction, mission loss and doing too much. The book contains a wealth of information, is carefully researched as well as lived by the authors. This is a book written in language understandable for both pastors and laity.

Church Awakening: An Urgent Call for Renewal, by Chuck Swindoll, is a passionate and hopeful book on the church. Dr. Swindoll, a well known pastor, theologian and author, is also known for his Insight for Living radio broadcast. Swindoll addresses this book to serious church goers and church leaders, urging that the Word of God be central in church worship. He describes erosion that has taken place in the church over the years, a gradual slide from its past historical foundations. We live in a postmodern world in which many no longer believe in absolute truth. Quoting from Isaiah 12:32, "Men who understood the times and knew what Israel should do," Swindoll says the church needs discernment and clear heads in turning the tide of postmodernism that has caused the church to slide "into the murky waters of a post-Christian swamp." Swindoll’s book lifted my spirits, informed and delighted me.

On this Rock I will build my church.” Matt.16:18

Blessings, Dottie





Tuesday, November 12, 2013

THE TRUTH ABOUT SEX



Q. My husband and I have been married for three years. We are both unhappy with our sex life and some times even fight about it. We thought that sex in marriage would be easier than the disappointing pre-marital experiences we both had. Why are we having such a hard time?

A. Our culture, especially the media, portray sex in very unrealistic ways. In fact, they promote lies about sex. They make us think that sex is easy, sex is free and sex can be engaged in with any willing partner. And happiness will result.
           
Jenell Williams Paris, professor of anthropology, writes on this subject in the November 12, 2001 issue of Christianity Today. She cites an episode on Friends in which Monica, a lead character, is sick with the flu. In spite of a terrible cough and feeling sick she entices her boy friend, Chandler, by seductively rubbing her chest with Vicks.  Paris says, “In real life, women with hacking coughs and achy bodies don’t seduce their partners with decongestant medications.” She also points out that being single is the norm on Friends, yet the three actresses are all married. 
           
Television shows and movies portray sexuality unrealistically. Sex is pictured as unrelated to a relationship and requiring no commitment. It is spontaneous and easy. There is little or no dialog. Interaction between the couple is largely non-verbal. This leads many couples to believe that sex should be easy and “just happen.”
           
This is a far from the truth. Sex may at times be easy but only when a couple have previously built a relationship that is intimate. This requires work. Verbal communication is essential. Some negotiation as to when, where and how often is required by all couples. Individuals differ as to their interest, comfort about sex, and ability to bare their souls. 
           
The media does not portray real life. Do we ever see a lack of interest in sex due to illness, parenthood or life stresses? Fatigue alone can rob us of the energy for sex. 
           
In real life sex is not free. We must talk about birth control and agree on what type we will use. We must deal with late periods, unwanted pregnancy, and even sexually transmitted diseases. Television shows us only the sensual and easy side of sex. 
           
Meaningful sex is costly, not free as TV would have us believe. It requires a life long commitment to be faithful to each other. It requires trust, vulnerability and honesty to achieve the best intimacy marriage offers. 
           
Here are some things you and your husband can do to help your sex life. Expect it to take work and don’t expect it to be as pictured on TV.
           
1. Communication is essential and so is time together. Talk about every aspect of your relationship to help your sex life improve. Express resentments and let go of them. Share secrets and dreams. Communicate about sex giving each other specific details about your needs, wants, likes and dislikes. Be good listeners, open to hearing each others viewpoints. 
           
2. Be romantic. Say "I love you." Let your partner know on a daily basis what you love, appreciate and value about him or her.
           
3. Be affectionate. Give hugs and kisses often. Hold hands. Sleep together - casually touching and being touched is comforting and stimulating.
           
4. Create Privacy. If you have children put a lock on your bedroom door.
           
5. Schedule time alone together and time for intimacy. Give it top priority. 

6. Pray together. This is the most intimacy building thing you can do –it will bond you together with each other and with God.
           
If problems continue, see a Christian marriage counselor.

Blessings, Dottie


“Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” Proverbs 3:3


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

PARENT-TEEN POWER STRUGGLE: A PAINFUL VICIOUS CIRCLE

Q. What’s wrong with my daughter? She has book sense but no common sense. She is 18, attends college and works part time. She harps on little things and continues for hours or even days arguing with me on the same minor issue. She never thinks she’s at fault and often thinks no one loves her. She argues with her boyfriend in the same way she argues with me. What’s her problem and how can I help her?

You and your daughter are in a power struggle. A power struggle is, as it says, a struggle for power or control. The subject you argue about doesn’t matter. You’re both saying “I’m right” or “No, I’m right.” It takes two to argue; it takes two to have a power struggle.    
           
When a power struggle continues over a period of years it affects everyone. All family members feel some anger, resentment, or hurt as a result of the unhappy dialogue that poisons the home. Behind a parent/teen power struggle is the healthy need on the part of the teen to be independent, to do things “my way,” to express his or her unique individuality. This bumps up against the parent’s role as guardian and the parent’s desire to teach and help the young person avoid problems or dangers.

Stopping the Vicious Circle
First you need to realize you are not to blame for the problem but you do contribute to it in the way you respond to your daughter. A power struggle is a vicious circle and this circle needs to be interrupted.
           
How to Change a Power Struggle
To stop the power struggle you will need to change the way you react or respond to your daughter.
1. Refuse to argue with her. Arguing doesn’t solve anything. Nor does it make a teen-ager listen. This may be difficult. You may have to bite your tongue. Back off when ever you realize you are arguing with her.  
           
2. Learn to see things from her point of view. One technique which helps is to use mirroring. If your daughter says “I’ve had a bad day and I’m too tired to clean my room.” Respond by repeating (mirroring) this back to her, “You’ve had a bad day and you’re too tired to clean your room right now.” Saying this will help her feel understood. 
           
3. Become a good listener. You might ask her to tell you more about her bad day. Most of us will open up when someone listens and accepts what we say without disagreeing, without dismissing our concern or pain, and without offering advice.
           
4. Don’t get drawn back into the struggle. Changing the way you respond to your daughter will not be easy. She will attempt to draw you back into arguments.

5. Focus on solutions. When she complains resist the urge to defend yourself. Ask her, “What do you wish would change?” Then listen.
           
6. Don’t overreact. Don’t tolerate disrespect - let her know it’s not acceptable - but don’t overreact to it either. Realize that she doesn't have the life experience that you do. Therefore, her problems may seem minor to you yet be overwhelming to her. Similarly, your worries may be of no concern to her.
           
7. Focus on positives. Tell her what you are pleased with about her. Find ways to have fun together.

“It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city.”  Proverbs 16:32 NLT

Blessings, Dottie

This post originally appeared on Taber's Truths


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The Commands of Jesus

DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT TO SAY
Matthew 10:19-20  When they arrest you do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

Mark 13:11 Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking but the Holy Spirit.

Luke 12:11-12  When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.

Luke 21:14 Make up your mind not to worry before hand how you will defend yourselves.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT TO SAY
Father,
The times have become so unChristian or anti-Christian that whether we’re arrested or just in an unfriendly atmosphere we need to discern what to say and how to say it to present the Truth. Help us learn to lean on you, trust you, discern your ways and walk in them so we will be prepared for such a time. We want to be open enough and in tune enough for the Holy Spirit to speak through us in helping and reaching others for you, whatever the situation.

FLEE PERSECUTION
Matt. 10:23  When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another.

FLEE PERSECUTION
Father,
I’m glad you have this instruction to flee persecution! This would no doubt be my first inclination. The disciples dispersed to all parts of the known world due in part to persecution - and the result was the spread of the Gospel. We pray for the many Christians around the world who suffer persecution and even imprisonment for their faith. Help them be strong in the faith. Guide, guard and protect them – and use them mightily. 

Lord, I just received a mailing from Voice of the Martyrs with stories of persecution of Christians especially now in Syria. The persecution is from both sides in the conflict. Some Christians are staying there in spite of the danger because they believe You want them to be your witnesses there. What courage and dedication they have. We pray for the Christians in Syria. Bless, guide and protect them. May they inspire boldness in others including us. In Jesus name, Amen

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:10 NIV

Blessings, Dottie