Three Books on Healing

The Heart Speaks: A Cardiologist Reveals the Secret Language of Healing

By Dr. Mimi Guarneri

The Heart Speaks is a beautiful book written by a cardiologist who has a warm heart. Dr. Mimi weaves her life experiences and stories about her patients throughout the book including the childhood tragedy of losing her mother to a heart attack. Her medical school training required her to suppress all her emotions. She learned to do this and for years operated on heart patients but didn’t really know them. She says in the introduction:

“No one spoke of the other layers of the heart that didn’t appear in a stress test or electrocardiogram: the mental heart affected by hostility, stress and depression, the emotional heart that could be crushed by loss, the intelligent heart that has a nervous system of its own and communicates with the brain and other parts of the body. No one lectured about the spiritual heart that yearns for a higher purpose, the universal heart that communicates with others, or the original heart that beats in the unborn fetus before the brain is formed.”

Dr. Mimi learned to listen to her patients in order to discover the correct diagnosis, finding this often more accurate than tests or her medical training. As a result the most puzzling or difficult patients responded and were helped by her.

She offers research to support her use of an integrative approach to her patients. She develops an individual treatment plan for each patient including for example, acupuncture, yoga, good nutrition, and prayer.

My review doesn’t do justice to this marvelous book. This book will be helpful to patients, doctors, nurses and the entire medical community. This approach has and will open and heal many hearts. Perhaps it will even help transform the health care system.

Dr. Lani’s No-Nonsense Bone Health Guide: The Truth about Density Testing, Osteoporosis Drugs and Building Bone Quality at Any Age

By Dr. Lani Simpson

Dr. Lani’s No-Nonsense Bone Health Guide is an outstanding book on the health of our bones and on understanding and treating osteoporosis. Dr. Lani is a chiropractor who has been trained to read dexa-scans and understand these tests. She works closely with a medical doctor. Her research and experience with patients is detailed in the book and is thorough and convincing. She experienced bone loss herself and tells her own story. Dr. Lani says that many of the medications given to promote bone growth actually cause harm. (I have had difficulty with these same medications so was glad for the validation of this.) She also says that often dexa-scans are not accurate and she gives information about how to assure you receive valid tests.

I was most surprised by Dr. Lani’s connecting the health of the digestive system of the patient and the health of the bones. When the digestion is off the body does not absorb the needed nutrients especially calcium and magnesium. (I’ve had digestive problems and never connected this with bone loss.) Instead of giving separate medications or treatment for the bones and the digestion she believes it’s essential to treat the body as a whole and understand what will help it heal. She offers a realistic plan for eating right, taking some supplements and exercising to correct the digestive issues and build stronger bones or at least stop the bone loss from progressing. This is a great reference book with much information here including pictures and diagrams. I highly recommend this book.

Spontaneous Healing: How To Discover and Enhance Your Body’s Natural Ability to Maintain and Heal itself

By Andrew Weil, M.D.

Spontaneous Healing is a fascinating and enlightening book. A friend, who had leukemia at 17 and is a healthy 50 year old now, raved about this book so I bought it. It's in paper back and probably in most libraries as it was published in 1995.

The thesis of the book is that the medical profession only concerns itself with disease. Medical schools teach nothing about prevention or about the ability of the body to heal itself. Dr. Weil, a Harvard Medical School graduate, is not against medical care but tells many ways we can encourage our body’s immune systems to help us heal. He gives many examples of “spontaneous healing.” A chapter near the end of the book titled Cancer as a Special Case gives detailed information about approaches to this disease.

Dr. Weil notes the pessimistic stance of many doctors who predict the worst - which can affect the mind and body of the patient negatively. The book offers many patient case examples of healing through natural means and many of his patients say their illness is a gift which helped them change their unhealthy or dysfunctional life styles. They learned to accept what happened in life. I highly recommend this book. 

These three books have informed my thinking about how to beat disease and I have used much of the information given to boost my immune system and stay healthy.

“Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.” Psalm 103:2-3

Blessings, Dottie

LESS TV BRINGS HEALTH & HAPPINESS

Q. Television is ruining my family. I want to talk and connect with my kids and with my husband but the TV is always on. I’ve heard that TV with all the violence isn’t good for the kids and this worries me, also. I’ve told my husband how I feel but he says he’s tired after work and TV helps him relax. He doesn’t think it hurts the kids. What do you think?

A. You are correct in your belief that too much TV viewing is harmful. There’s a great deal of research which links TV watching to a variety of health problems. Obesity is one of these. Experts believe that the biggest cause of weight gain in the United States is the time spent vegetating in front of the TV. 

         

There is also evidence that the passive nature of television viewing affects the brain development of children. One study showed that both children and adults exposed to TV suffered a 20% decrease in creativity. TV may be the cause of the 20% decline in SAT scores in the last 25 years. 

         

Television interferes with thinking, with using our minds actively. Reading a book, playing a game or talking with a friend requires more. We must use our minds, our imaginations, and invest ourselves. These skills are lost when not exercised. An activity that engages our interest and imagination enriches the brain, even in adults.

         

There has been concern about the amount of violence and sexually suggestive or even immoral content in much TV programming. The effect of this violent or sexually promiscuous content cannot be positive for children, families or for our society.

         

In addition there is research which shows that the more TV viewing a person engages in the less they are involved in relationships with others, in civic, church or social activities.  Martin Seligman, psychologist, says that people who are passive, watching television are less likely to report they are happy than people who are actively doing things. 

         

Depression has increased in our society in recent decades. A study of the Amish, who do not own or watch television, showed that they have a significantly lower rate of depression than the general population. Many studies show that engagement with others is a key ingredient to health. You and your family will be happier and healthier if you turn off the TV and get involved with other people. 

         

Watching television kills conversation in families and between couples. It prevents intimacy. Marriages drift into trouble when there is little time for connecting. Children also need time to talk in order to feel loved and to learn to connect with others. 

Talk over with your husband the information about the effects of TV on all of us. Work out a plan with him to gradually decrease the amount of TV viewing the family does.  Here are some suggestions: 

·       Turn off the TV during meals. Sit as a couple talking over coffee for a while longer after the children have finished eating.

·       If banning TV from all meals is too drastic, start with one or two TV-less meals a week. 

·       Don’t use television as background noise. Turn it off if you’re not watching.

·       Only turn on a program that interests you. 

·       Get involved in other activities. Get out board games to play with your children or with each other. Go to concerts, plays or church activities together.

         

During Lent, traditionally a time of fasting and prayer, we might all consider restricting our TV viewing. Some may want to go on a TV diet. Some may choose a total fast from TV. Forty days is long enough to establish new habits.

“Change your ways. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace.” 2 Corinthians 13:11 NLT

Blessings, Dottie

Valuing Ash Wednesday

February 10^th is Ash Wednesday, a special day celebrated in many Christian churches. Ash Wednesday is the first day of Lent, the beginning of the 40 weekdays before Easter. Lent is observed in many Christian churches as a period of prayer, fasting, confession, repentance, and self-denial. It echoes the 40 days in the wilderness Jesus spent fasting and overcoming temptation. It also assists Christians in focusing on Jesus resolute journey leading to his crucifixion and resurrection. We learn to identify with his unwavering obedience. We recognize the price he paid for us.

Our faith journey, described in Changing Churches, began in a United Methodist Church - a church that observes Ash Wednesday. Throughout our years there, Ash Wednesday marked the beginning of a solemn and holy time of reflection. While searching for a church in 2008 we attended an Ash Wednesday service at another Methodist Church. I noted in my journal:

           

We sang six verses of "Just as I Am" and "There is a Fountain Filled with Blood." The hymns, responsive readings, confession, and pastor's message, touched and filled us. We received ashes in the shape of the cross on our foreheads and took Communion - opening and recommitting ourselves to Him. What a sacred event!

Prayer Journaling

In 2004 the teacher of my ladies Bible class mentioned journaling Psalm 51 (about David's sin), one phrase at a time, for the forty days of Lent. This proved to be a sobering but valuable exercise. In order to build up the church, Christians must change and grow. We must face our own sin and repent. The next forty days are a good time to focus on this in prayer.

Understanding the Church Calendar

For those not in a liturgical church, Mark Galli's explanation from his book Beyond Smells and Bells, may help you appreciate the emphasis on the church calendar. He writes:

             

The church calendar aims at nothing less than to change the way we experience time and perceive reality. . . . Advent signals the new year. For the church, the annual rhythm is not winter, spring, summer and fall, but Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Easter and Pentecost. . . . The church calendar is not about the cycle of life - school or sports or harvest time - but about the movement of history toward a glorious goal. We celebrate the past events of history not merely to remember them, but note how they infuse the present with meaning and power, and point us to our future hope.

Let this be a Holy season for all Christians to ponder and pray and deepen our faith.

Blessings, Dottie
Click here to view journaling on Psalm 51.

The Worst Things Good Parents Do

Q.  My husband and I have different ideas about how to parent our children. We know we must work together on parenting or the children will play us against each other. Can you give us ideas to guide us in our parenting?

A.  There are many excellent parenting books as well as some parenting courses which are helpful. One book with sound ideas is The Seven Worst Things Good Parents Do by John C. Friel, Ph.D. and Linda D. Friel, M.A. The authors say that obviously there are much worse things parents can do such as abusing or neglecting their children. They chose the title because so many parents thought they were doing a good job because they weren’t torturing their children.

Here is their list of the seven worst things good parents do with a brief comment about each one. Some of the things on their list may surprise you.

         

1. Baby your child. Do you do everything for your child? Do you give your child constant attention? Do you give in to keep your child happy? Children who are babied may never learn to think and do for themselves. They will be ill equipped for the struggles of life.

         

2. Put your marriage last. Your marriage must have priority. This doesn’t mean you neglect your children. They do need time and attention. But parents need at least a few minutes on a daily basis to talk privately, to connect with each other. A regular night out together is also important. Children who are always the focus of attention have difficulty leaving home and have no idea of what a healthy marriage looks like.

         

3. Push your child into too many activities. Many parents and children in today’s world are over scheduled. If life feels like a treadmill to you, it may feel that way to your child as well. We need unscheduled time to relax and be with each other. 

         

4. Ignore your emotional or spiritual life. We all need time to be alone with ourselves and time to meditate or pray. This benefits us as well as enhancing all our relationships.  The authors say that “parents who are sincerely humble, grateful and prayerful ... produce children who are much the same.”

         

5. Be your child’s best friend. There needs to be a clear but flexible boundary between parents and their children. When the boundary is weak or missing the result is chaos, with no one in charge. When the boundary is rigid children are unable to connect with their parents.

6. Fail to give your child structure. Children learn internal control of their impulses by first experiencing external control. Parents teach their children to delay gratification by a few clear, consistent rules. As they grow they internalize these rules. They learn self control.

         

7. Expect your child to fulfill your dreams. Teens need to follow their own dreams as they move into adulthood. They may not pick the career you wanted for them, they may make mistakes, and they may question your values. Parents must let go little by little. Teens will make it into successful adulthood if they have some freedom to struggle and choose their way. Parents need to provide enough structure that children develop their own internal rudders but not so much that they can’t grow up.

         

8. I would add one more very worst thing. Give your children no teaching about God, no experience in a church and no knowledge of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Children need to be exposed and taught the great truths of our faith. They need to be raised in a church community where others can mentor, teach and befriend them. There is so much they learn in a church – they learn they are loved, they learn moral and ethical values, they learn it is better to give than to receive. Most importantly they learn all about Jesus and will likely choose to be baptized and receive the Holy Spirit.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.“ Proverbs 22:6 NASB

Blessings, Dottie

THE FATHER WILL GIVE YOU THE HOLY SPIRIT

The Promises of Jesus

Luke 11: 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.

John 14:15-16 If you love me you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever - the Spirit of Truth.

John 14:26 The Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.      

John 16:13 When the Spirit of Truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.

John 16:15 All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you.

John 20:22 Receive the Holy Spirit.

Acts 1:4-5 Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.

Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you.

These verses about receiving the Holy Spirit are thrilling to all true believers. Are you inspired by them? These are the words of Jesus! Seek him and he will fill your heart with his joyful spirit. 

John MacArthur’s Study Bible says that in these verses “Jesus promises believers five supernatural blessings that the world does not enjoy. 

1. A supernatural Helper. 

2. A supernatural life. 

3. A supernatural union. 

4. A supernatural teacher. 

5. A supernatural peace

These supernatural promises are for those who love Jesus Christ, whose love is evidenced by obedience.” 

Isn’t this amazing! When we accept Jesus as our Lord Savior, repent for our sins and submit our life to him, the Holy Spirit comes into our heart. To be aware of his presence we must seek him more and deepen our trust, obedience and devotion to Jesus Christ. These promises are real and true. Hallelujah!

Father,

I thank you for this biblical assurance that you live in the heart of each believer. I thank you for the awareness of your loving presence and for your kind guidance and comfort. We are growing in our faith and obedience. “Come Holy Spirit, kindle in us the power of your love.” Let your spirit in us bring glory to you. We love you with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, In Jesus name we pray.

If anyone reading this does not know Jesus – seek him and you, too will have supernatural help in every area.

Blessings, Dottie

Books to Deepen Faith

Forgiveness: Following Jesus into Radical Loving

By Paula Huston

Forgiveness is a profound book on the difficult issue of coming clean and forgiving all those in our past who have hurt us. It is a book teaching us how to follow Christ in every day life. This involves radical loving as the subtitle suggests. It also involves a great deal of soul searching. Paula Husted reveals her own struggles in forgiving others and in forgiving herself. Her journey in forgiveness led her to become an oblate – a lay member of a monastic community. This is a book that must be read over and over. Gems of wisdom jump from every page. Here are a few examples:

“No other religion came into being through an act of forgiveness.” xvi

 “The vengeance cycle can only be broken by humility.” 38

“When self-esteem is our primary goal, we learn to see ourselves and our own concerns as ultimate; we lose our sense of awe in the face of the divine.” 42

“Purity of heart means that every desire is for the same thing: God….Purity of heart refers to that joyful sense of being in which we can freely love the good things of life without losing sight of our North Star.” 71-72

Desiring God

by John Piper

Desiring God fanned the flame of my love for Christ and taught me much. Piper, who calls himself a Christian Hedonist, beautifully details the doctrine of the supremacy of Christ. He says that “the deepest and most enduring happiness is found in God. Not from God but in God.” His passionate descriptions of God and worship attest to this and raise the level of the readers’ desire for God and experience of worship. The supremacy of Christ is beautifully defined and worshipfully experienced.

Piper’s thoughts about false teaching, indifference and accountability in the church are also helpful and well said. It also delighted me to read Piper’s views on worship and missions.

 “Mission is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Mission exists because worship doesn’t. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate, not man. When this age is over and the countless millions of redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It’s a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.”

This book is a classic and one to be read over and over.

“The true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth, for such the Father seeks to worship him.” John 4:23

Blessings, Dottie

AVOIDING INTIMACY

Q. My first marriage ended because we drifted apart. Now my second wife is turning away from me. She hasn’t said anything but she’s always busy and we don’t have the fun or companionship we had during the first two years of our marriage. What causes a couple to drift apart and become distant?   

A.  Marriage is an intimate relationship. In order for a marriage to work couples need to connect with each other in a deeper way than they do in most other relationships. They need to get below the surface of superficial small talk and be open with each other. Couples who drift apart do so because they find many ways to avoid intimacy. Below is a list of some of the ways we avoid intimacy.

1. Don’t talk. This is the most basic rule for avoiding closeness. If you must talk, don’t talk about anything important. Talk about the weather or sports.

         

2. Don’t show your feelings. If you express any sadness, happiness, irritation or caring you’re revealing your inner self. If you show no feelings you will give a clear message that you don’t want to be intimate.

         

3. Keep smiling, especially if something is bothering you. Hide all negative feelings from your partner. This way your partner will believe that everything is okay in your relationship and you won’t have to be intimate.

         

4. Keep busy. Work long hours so you can avoid spending time with your partner.  Always have chores or activities you need to do so there’s no time for the two of you to spend together. This will give your spouse the message that he or she is not as important to you as your work or other interests and will definitely help you avoid intimacy. 

         

5. Always be right. Never admit you’re wrong. If you admit you’re wrong you will be at risk of admitting you’re human. This also could lead to you admitting your partner is right and that his or her viewpoint needs to be considered. Before you know it you’ll be on verge of being intimate.

6. Don’t disagree. If you disagree you may discover you and your partner are different. This may lead to you talking about the differences and having to make adjustments. As a result you may have to tell your partner who you really are and what you really feel. This could lead to intimacy.

7. Don’t tell your partner what you want. Make your partner guess what you want.  Then when your partner guesses wrong you can tell your partner they don’t understand you or love you or they would know what you want without asking.  This will prevent intimacy and also drive your partner crazy.

         

8. Look out for yourself. Think of yourself as number one. Do whatever you feel like doing without consulting your partner. Think of yourself as okay and your partner as not okay. 

9. Keep the television turned on. Keep the TV on during meals and while you’re talking. Watching TV will prevent you and your partner from talking to each other.  It will also keep you from noticing that you don’t communicate. 

         

10. Avoid all show of affection. Don’t give hugs, kisses, say “I love you.” Don’t show any appreciation or give any praise to your partner. Keep sex as matter of fact and quick as possible.

         

To have a closer marriage, do the opposite of these ten ways to avoid intimacy. If you grew up in a family that avoided connecting, these changes may feel risky.  Make small changes and keep working on it over a period of time. 

“Let love and faithfulness never leave you.” Proverbs 3:3

Blessings, Dottie