What are the secrets of marital success? Here are five tips to successful marriage. Couples can make their marriage work; they can maximize marital success by
practicing the following.
1. "Accentuate the positive."
Couples in trouble focus their attention on the negative. Long term successful
marriages are "mutual admiration societies." Learn to give praise or
compliments to each other on a daily basis. Say thank you for little things as
well as big things. “Thank you for taking out the trash.” “Thank you for
supporting me when your mother questioned me.” Be specific about this. Let your
partner know what you appreciate about him/her.
2. Learn how to "fight" with
each other. Find a way to settle differences without destructive anger and
without anyone giving in. Learn to negotiate with each other. Most of us think
in black/white terms. We see only two solutions - my way or your way. In
reality, there are many solutions to every situation. Be creative, think
outside the box, and develop solutions that meet the needs of both of you. Don't
expect every "fight" to end with a solution. Some times differences
just need to be aired. The solution may evolve at a later time when you are
both calmer. End every "fight" with a confirmation of your love.
3. Spend time together. Ten or fifteen
minutes every day spent talking with the TV turned off can do wonders
for the sense of connection in a marriage. Touch each other often, both
affectionately and sexually. Touch is a powerful connection. Touch erases the
hurts and cares of the day. Guard your couple-ness from the intrusions of
children. Go out alone together several times a month. Keep children’s bed times regular and early
so the marriage has room of its own.
4. Notice repetitive patterns. Over
time couples may develop disturbing, repetitive patterns. Conflict about the
same issues, in the same sequence, erupts over and over. Repetitive patterns may have roots in
childhood issues which both of you are trying to work out in the marriage. If
you’re stuck in repetitive patterns and can't resolve the issues, it’s time to
go for counseling. This is especially true if you are unable to forgive and
forget.
5. Pray together. Worship together. Be
united in your faith in God.
“Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on
it. Love makes up for practically
anything.” 1 Peter 4:8 The Message
Blessings, Dottie
I think your points are valid, helpful, and well-written. I feel blessed to have read this post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for directing me to your blog via your kind comment and e-mails re my post on changing churches. I'm your latest follower and look forward to reading what you have to say in the future.
May God continue to richly bless you.