Journaling Psalm 51 Part 4

Psalm 51 is David’s repentance for his many sins including adultery and murder. He was a man after God’s own heart yet a sinner – saved by grace. Join me on this solemn and blessed journey of prayer, confession and repentance.

Psalm 51:10-11

Create in me a clean heart, O God.

Renew a right Spirit within me.

Do not banish me from your presence,

And don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

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Father,

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right Spirit within me. I do desire a new heart (soft, loving and pliable in your hands) and a clean heart (pure and washed free of all the sins that separate me from you). Thank you for the revelation you gave me this morning from Oswald Chambers – lust is “I must have it at once.” I haven’t out grown my childhood self-centeredness. I was aware of this when  M and I filled out a necessary form together. I complained throughout about how much I hate paper work. Grumble, grumble, grumble. Thinking back to last week when I got so upset I suspect that was due to “wanting what I wanted when I wanted it.” I felt pressure about all the tasks ahead – rather than taking one day at a time and trusting you. Forgive me for all these sins.

Only you can change me – but I know you can and have already done this. I accept your forgiveness and need your help in turning away from these sins that are so ingrained in me. I accidentally wrote new heart above (instead of clean). This led me to Ezekiel 36:26-27. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. I claim this promise, Lord.

Father,

Renew a right spirit within me. You have done this in amazing ways. My spiritual birthday is this month – the day we returned to church 23 years ago. The turn around in my life, heart, mind and spirit is amazing. You have said you make all things new. You have made me a new creation. Not that I have arrived. Help me walk in your Light and in your Spirit consistently. Erase my edginess, irritation, self-will and frustration. Help me see the positive and focus only on that and center my life on you.

Father,

Do not banish me from your presence, And don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

I wonder if you ever do banish us from your presence. I think you withhold our awareness of your presence to increase our faith or for our own good. Also, we are unable to pray or connect with you when we are angry, rebellious or self-centered. I believe you are always with us as Jesus said. I thank you for this assurance and for all I’m learning through your Word. Help me remain and abide in you and walk in your Light. Show me when I stray even one step away.

I can’t imagine you taking your Holy Spirit from me. I guess David felt you had done this. Due to his sins he must have felt separated from the closeness to you he’d known. Though I ignored you for so many, many years (and your Holy Spirit and your Son) – I know now you were with me and in me – keeping me from straying too far, wooing me back. If you hadn’t been – I don’t think I would have choked up singing “Fairest Lord Jesus” – that first Sunday back in church. Help me continue to abide in you. Help me to sense your Holy Spirit abiding in me and filling me.

Blessings, Dottie

Psalm 51 Part 1 is here.

Psalm 51 Part 2 is here.

Psalm 51 Part 3 is here.