WHAT WILL MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK?

What are the secrets of marital success? Here are five tips to successful marriage. Couples can make their marriage work; they can maximize marital success by practicing the following. 

     

1. "Accentuate the positive." Couples in trouble focus their attention on the negative. Long term successful marriages are "mutual admiration societies." Learn to give praise or compliments to each other on a daily basis. Say thank you for little things as well as big things. “Thank you for taking out the trash.” “Thank you for supporting me when your mother questioned me.” Be specific about this. Let your partner know what you appreciate about him/her. 

     

2. Learn how to "fight" with each other. Find a way to settle differences without destructive anger and without anyone giving in. Learn to negotiate with each other. Most of us think in black/white terms. We see only two solutions - my way or your way. In reality, there are many solutions to every situation. Be creative, think outside the box, and develop solutions that meet the needs of both of you. Don't expect every "fight" to end with a solution. Some times differences just need to be aired. The solution may evolve at a later time when you are both calmer. End every "fight" with a confirmation of your love.

     

3. Spend time together. Ten or fifteen minutes every day spent talking with the TV turned off can do wonders for the sense of connection in a marriage. Touch each other often, both affectionately and sexually. Touch is a powerful connection. Touch erases the hurts and cares of the day. Guard your couple-ness from the intrusions of children. Go out alone together several times a month.  Keep children’s bed times regular and early so the marriage has room of its own.

     

4. Notice repetitive patterns. Over time couples may develop disturbing, repetitive patterns. Conflict about the same issues, in the same sequence, erupts over and over.  Repetitive patterns may have roots in childhood issues which both of you are trying to work out in the marriage. If you’re stuck in repetitive patterns and can't resolve the issues, it’s time to go for counseling. This is especially true if you are unable to forgive and forget.

5. Pray together. Worship together. Be united in your faith in God.  

“Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it.  Love makes up for practically anything.” 1 Peter 4:8 The Message

Blessings, Dottie

Six Stupid Things People Say About Religion

I ran into  this this morning on a link from another blog. It was written by Daniel Jepson who remains anonymous on his blog. 
This is worth reading. It speaks to many things unbelievers say and how to reply to them with reason and common sense yet exposing the flaws in their thinking and hopefully intriguing them into opening their minds to consider the claims of Christ. 
Blessings, Dottie

"Value" License Plates

Some time ago I wrote about a vanity license plate that I called a “value” plate. It had a thought provoking message: U NO WHY.  Everyone following this car must have wondered about its meaning. I speculated that the owner wanted others to think and wonder. Do you know why we’re here on this earth? Is there purpose to our existence? Do you know why God created us? Do you know why every fingerprint and every snow flake is different? Is this by design or by chance?

Two more “value” plates appeared recently. One said LOVE AHA. My online dictionary defines “aha” as an expression used when discovering something, especially expressing satisfaction or excitement. AHA in capitol letters is a chemistry term for alpha-hydroxy acid. AHAs are chemical compounds used in cosmetics. Wikipedia says “They are often found in products claiming to reduce wrinkles or the signs of aging, and improve the overall look and feel of the skin.”

I think love reduces wrinkles from our souls. Love touches us in ways we don’t understand. Touching does also. The two are synonymous. Infants require touch in order to thrive. I think we all do. So this driver is letting the world know that he’s in love and it’s a marvelous, amazing thing.

I discovered another “value” license plate a few months ago. It said UNCOOL. I pondered on this. What is this driver saying? Who would choose to be uncool in today’s world?  Most of us try to fit in, to be cool. Then I wondered what kind of license plate Jesus would choose and decided this would be just right for Him. He was uncool. He went against all expectations. He hung out with needy, rejected and uneducated people.

A friend of mine has another value plate. It says PRAY in Spanish.  We could use more “value” plates in our world. We could use more promotion of LOVE and PRAY and UNCOOL. We could use more questioning and seeking to know why, seeking to know God.

“Delight yourself in the LORD.” Psalm 37:4

Blessings, Dottie

a few minutes with Michelle: What cup are you drinking from?

a few minutes with Michelle: What cup are you drinking from?: If you read my devotion titled “But there’s a lesson in this”, you would know that I find a lesson or nugget of truth for every happenstan...